Slow Way Home
by TVNerd
Summary: Sequel to Unsettling Reunions. Genderbender! Jamie and Spock have just saved earth but their relationship is on the rocks. Can the pair come together despite the time and secrets between them or are they doomed to remain as they are?
1. Prologue

Slow Way Home  
Introduction

_[Day 1 of 45]_

Spock sat at his station as they all sighed in relief that they were alive. But while he was relieved that they were alive, he looked at his wife. She was obviously injured but how injured, in what way, remained to be seen.

He wanted her examined but he did not want to… embarrass her. So he turned back to his station though his eyes kept wandering back to her.

"Chekov – can you get us our location so we know which way we should be heading and how long it'll take us to get to earth," his wife asked.

"Aye J… I mean captain," the boy said slipping up. She nodded her head with a smile before looking around the room. Then she seemed to frown as she glanced at Uhura then slipped up from her chair.

Everyone went back to their stations but he listened to his wife as she walked over. Eavesdropping was not polite but he was concerned for his wife. Right then, he would allow his emotions dictate something like eavesdropping.

"Captain?" Uhura asked. He focused on his wife who whispered so quietly he could barely hear.

"I know this is a lot to ask but I think we need to consider this now. When long range communications are back on-line we'll be swamped with people wanting to know who survived, who we have onboard. If at all possible can you compile a list of everyone onboard the _Enterprise_ as well as a list of all who died from this and other ships?" he heard his wife ask. Others seemed to be eavesdropping as well because they tensed when they heard her request.

It was a logical move on her part.

"I can do that, Captain," Uhura said quietly.

"And if you could, would you get a list of surviving Vulcans as well that are aboard the _Enterprise_?" his wife asked the Lieutenant who nodded solemnly. "When long-range communications are back would you send those lists to Starfleet command so they can post them?"

"I will Captain," Uhura stated softly.

"Thank you…" Jim whispered to the woman who turned to face her almost startled. But rather than reply the Lieutenant just nodded. Then Jim walked over to the Captain's chair. Everything was silent then. They began the long trek home.


	2. 1

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 1

_[Day 5 of 45]_

It had been four days since the destruction of the Narada and the death of Nero. Four long days where Jim barely left the Bridge, except to use the lavatories. The adrenaline had long since worn off, exhaustion and starvation had settled in.

Thankfully someone had noticed she refused to leave the bridge and was keeping her well stocked on nice hot coffee. Still, everything on her body hurt. Her muscles were fatigued and screamed with the need to rest. From her own calculation every one of her ribs was injured somehow though only four of them – from the cursory exam she'd done while alone in the lavatory – were actually broken… maybe six but no more though that didn't count all the fractures that might have been in them. Because of how many times her bones had been broken she actually needed a machine to find those.

That wasn't mentioning her cracked cheek bone that hurt like hell when she talked. She wasn't sure when she got that because during the Narada adventures it had felt fine. Then there was her dislocated shoulder.

Her eyes were drooping again. Jim wanted to stay awake. She didn't want to fall asleep – especially not in the captain's chair. She didn't want to dream which would be more like nightmares for a short while.

Though she knew it would be better to have her nightmares on the ship rather than on earth with the twins nearby suffering from them as well.

Speaking of, she really needed to talk to Spock about them. She hadn't managed to speak to him in private yet – not since the ship with the red matter. Her mind kept going over that kiss and the confession he made about still loving her. But the other part of her kept going over all the insults, abandoning her with nothing to help survive.

Jim was feeling two different pains at that point and time; Physical and emotional.

Glancing around Jim spotted Spock looking at her again. His eyes were appraising her as if waiting for her to collapse or give in. She wasn't sure which would happen first.

Plus, besides all the reports she was receiving all across the ship that she had to read, puzzling over her failing marriage, and collecting her long list of injuries she had she also had to worry about her career after Starfleet.

Despite the fact she'd saved earth she'd cheated on the Kobyashi Maru, she stowed away on a flagship, undermined the authority of a senior officer, incited mutiny, and then forced a captain to show he was compromised publicly. She'd be lucky if she got off with suspension though the Admirals – she could tell – hated her anyways. She would definitely be getting a dishonorable discharge from the Academy.

She would be proving her mother right. She was stupid and no good for anything but to warm somebody's bed.

Holding back the sigh that wanted to escape she noticed a new message. She opened the message only to see it was from the Captain. He was awake and demanding to see her. Her heart rate sped up and she gathered herself.

Then she stood.

"Mr. Spock, take the Conn," she told her husband. Then she left the Bridge without waiting for a response.

Approaching the Medical Bay – even if only to visit somebody else – she felt queasy. She hated infirmaries. They were all sterile and lifeless with that same smell that just revolted her. And what was worse was it had been four days since they'd saved the earth but she hadn't been to see Bones yet… or Vera.

"Jim," McCoy called as he spotted her. "I'll get a scanner…"

"I'm here to see the Captain," she informed Bones who stopped. Everyone looked at her and she knew she was in trouble. He pointed her into the private room and upon entering she found Captain Pike sitting up in bed.

"Heard from both Commander Spock _and _Doctor McCoy about what happened since I was taken by that psychopath. Now, I want your version of what happened," Pike told her. "So, Report Cadet."

She flinched because this man was her father figure. He was the one her daughter actually slipped and called Grandpa Pike when she was two and a half because of how close they were. That tone – that angry disappointment – couldn't have stung more.

So she began talking. She didn't leave out any details from between his leaving until that point. She didn't talk about injuries sustained. She didn't use any emotions in describing the events. She gave plain facts. The door was closed so she even told him about the older Spock helping her but informed him of what he'd told her – that his younger self must never know.

"You should be in the Brig," the Captain told her and she nodded. "You were completely out of line. What you did was reckless, subversive, and against the rules of engagement." She listened, waiting for the Court Marshal. They were silent and she waited for him to continue, wondering why he wasn't saying anything.

She was staring right over his shoulder, her back straight though everything hurt and her legs were shaking to the point she was surprised they could hold her up. Her ankle had tensed up in the time she'd been sitting and it felt like it was on fire… that was with her suppressing the pain and ignoring it.

"Aren't you going to defend yourself cadet?" Pike asked.

"I told you what I did… now it's time and wait for either my suspension or dishonorable discharge," she said, refusing to look him in the face. Her breathing was faster and she was beginning to see black on the outside of her vision but she ignored it. "My actions warrant both."

"God damn it kid," Pike said sounding frustrated. "You just saved Earth and you're not even going to use that to defend yourself. To say your actions saved all those lives?"

"No… because I didn't act alone, everyone helped," she told him. She wasn't modest by nature but in this she wasn't being modest, she was telling the truth. Taking credit for something they all had a hand in would undermine their contributions.

Silently she wondered when the hell she began to think like Spock. Maybe it was her exhaustion.

"Well, if you aren't going to defend yourself you're lucky that just about everyone else has been by to see me the last four days to stand up for you," Pike said and her attention was suddenly turned to him. He didn't look pleased. "I wanted you to defend yourself. Kid… you…" he stopped as she stumbled, the ground feeling like it had shifted beneath her. As she did there was a sharp pain in her chest. She fell to her knees, unable to breathe.

"McCoy!" Pike yelled and there was running feet.

"What happened?" McCoy's faint voice asked as everything was going black. She was on the ground now and she felt her shirt being lifted.

Her mind was too hazy to know what was happening and she fought back. Then everything went dark.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Spock was on the Bridge worrying about his wife. She was so focused on keeping the ship safe – being there in case something happened and an emergency cropped up that she hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, and hadn't gotten her injuries looked after.

He was worried when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest. He clenched his fists and he recognized the feeling.

But it didn't make sense. She'd just left the bridge. She'd been injured but alive.

"Chekov, take the bridge," he ordered the younger man as he stood up, his body shaking.

"Aye Commander," the boy said and Spock went to find his wife. Acting automatically Spock went to the infirmary where he found Captain Pike struggling against a Nurse who kept telling him he was still recovering from surgery and needed to return to bed.

"What's going on here?" he asked, holding himself upright and in control. He'd had practice with all the times his wife flat lined since he left her.

"Your wife was just taken into surgery and they won't let me check on her," Pike told him and he turned toward there just as he sighed with relief. She was back. "Your relieved how…"

"I felt her flat line – that's why I came down here – but she's back," Spock informed the Captain. He looked pale. "You should lie down Captain. It is illogical for you to strain yourself so soon after Surgery when you should be recovering."

With that he led the man to his private room.

"I knew Kirk's father," Pike said as Spock got him back into Bed. Spock looked up at him. "He was already in his third year when I was a first year but he befriended me. He'd just gotten married to Winona and she was pregnant. We made a pact that if anything happened to the other – and we had a spouse and children – we'd take care of them. Winona wouldn't let me help after George died but I kept an eye from afar."

"Does…" Spock began, noticing the man jumped as if forgetting who was with him.

"No. She knows I knew her dad and that I was two years beneath him but I never told her about the pact or the fact I was the one who paid for several of her school trips. She was always bright – but at the age of ten she… changed. Sam ran away and she became – wild," Spock heard the man say. He remembered hearing something similar from her five years before. "Her wild nature stopped, for the most part, after Vulcan." Spock flinched.

"Getting married…" Spock began but once again he was cut off.

"She hasn't told you yet has she?" Pike asked and Spock frowned until he felt her flat line for a second time. He closed his eyes and breathed. "She flat lined?"

"Yes, sir," Spock said quietly. "What hasn't she told me?" he asked, needing to get his mind on something else though his hands clenched before him in a praying form, hoping his wife would survive.

"I probably shouldn't tell you… since it's a private matter," the Captain began and Spock began to worry. But the Captain pulled something out of his things and handed it over. It was a holographic photo and inside there was his wife's smiling face – and she was behind two children. The one was bright and smiling, her hair covered one ear but the other was Vulcan and her eyes were bright blue. The other child was male and his mouth wasn't smiling though his eyes showed he was happy. He had Spock's features except for his eye color at least. "You're a father Spock."

"Why… why hasn't she told me about them?" he questioned softly. He felt his emotions roar within him.

He was elated to know he had actually fathered a child – he wasn't infertile. But he'd missed so much which both disappointed and saddened him. And then he was angry she'd hid them.

A knock at the door had them both looking and his mother walked in. She was just a few hours from being released and would go stay with his father.

"Spock are… oh," his mother said, spotting the photo in his hands. It was a holophoto. "She wanted to tell you herself. She was planning to tell you but… this got in the way," his mother told him and he looked at her.

"You know?" he asked, feeling betrayed.

"Honey, I told you the consulate would keep you two apart. They are a bunch of old windbags who think they know best. A human married to a Vulcan is not something they'd approve of. And she contacted me the day before everything occurred. She asked me how she could contact you. Your daughter came running out of your room and her brother collected her, apologizing for his sister's 'illogical behavior'. They were the pair of you," his mother told him.

"Now that I know who their father is I can definitely see the resemblance. Your wife has her hands full with those two," Pike told him and he stared at the photo again. This was his family – a family he hadn't known existed.

An ease of pressure told him his wife – mother of his children – was back alive. It was a terrifying thought – children. He'd wanted them all his life, after learning he could never have them. Now they were right in front of him and he didn't know what to do.

"Can you tell us about them, since you seem so close?" his mother asked, moving to sit next to Spock on one of the sitting chairs placed in the private room. There were four – two along each side wall on either side of the bed.

"George – the boy though he is known more by Jory – is more intelligent than any child has the right to be. As smart as most high school students he is extremely smart. Recently he's been focusing on medical training though he does bounce some between science and medical fields. That's because part of him knows you were well versed in science when you knew his mother. But he was also influenced a lot during his informative years by Doctor McCoy who lived across the hallway from them and was his mother's best friend," Spock heard Captain Pike say.

"He seemed very… Vulcan when I saw him," his mother said.

"Oh, he is. All control, all internalizing. He was the mental which is why it's fitting your son is a full telepath," Pike said and Spock and his mother both looked up. "It's part of why your son is so intelligent. He listens in on the thoughts of those around him, memorizing information from them then turning it into something useful. And his mother feared he wasn't retaining any of the information he learned and was just skating by but a test showed that he was indeed memorizing whatever information he gleans through his telepathy," Pike told them.

There was a knock at the door then and an Orion entered the room. He recognized her as one of his students.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Roe," the captain asked.

"I heard Jimmy came down here. Is she around, I need to… oh, sorry," the woman began before noticing Spock and his mother. Spock knew this to be Gaila Roe, a computer programmer he used on the Kobyashi Maru.

"You are acquainted with my wife?" Spock asked.

"That's one of her two best friends," the Captain said. "And, Ms. Roe, Jim was taken into surgery about twenty minutes ago. She collapsed from injuries she refused to get looked after."

"Typical Jim. I'm so going to kick her ass for this. I mean," Ms. Roe stopped when she realized who she was in front of. "I apologize Captain, Commander."

"No need. Jim can do that to everyone… and right now, I'll let it slip, just don't let it happen outside this room," the Captain stated.

"Yes sir," Ms. Roe said before spotting the photo. "Oh, you know about little Jory and Little Mandy. Those two are so different. We're trying to girl your daughter up but she is such a tomboy. She hates dresses and being fashionable... Danni and I…" the woman stopped before glancing out of the door.

"You Mean Daniela Marx?" Spock heard his mother say.

"Yeah. She and Jim hit it off, both being married to Vulcans. Then they found that they were actually similar so they became friends. Becoming friends I was introduced and I became friends with her too. We used to sometimes take Mandy while Bones and Pavel would take Jory giving Jim time to herself. Of course, she couldn't stand it. Her life revolves around school and those children," Spock heard Ms. Roe tell them. He got a whole new picture of his wife that was not the woman he expected her to be.

He remembered a wild, untamable, unruly woman who loved danger and the thrill of adventure. The woman Ms. Roe was describing was very… domestic in her day to day.

"She can't have changed that much," his mother told the woman. "She was wild and untamable. I remember that one fight she got in – took on four men and they beat the hell out of her so bad she needed surgery or would have died but they also needed surgery because of the beating she, alone, gave them."

"Oh, trust me, that fighting spirit is still there," Ms. Roe told them.

"Fighting spirit, that's right. In fact, I tried to get her to teach one of the hand to hand combat courses at the Academy because of her fighting spirit. But it conflicted with when she had to pick up the twins every day so she turned it down – repeatedly," Pike told them.

"Yeah, plus, she's always for a cause. The first fight she got into at the school was the day she arrived. You saw Pavel Chekov up on the Bridge right?" Ms. Roe asked and Spock did a single nod. "Well, his roommate was kicking the crap out of him because he was a fourteen year old smart kid in his second year. Jim beat the hell out of the guy and threatened him that if she ever heard of him hurting the kid again she'd give him another beating he'd never forget. Then she moved Pavel into her third bedroom that was originally an office area. She was known for the best grades and the highest number of fights at the academy."

That was his wife.

Hearing about her from them helped him remember all those little traits he'd pushed to the back of his mind. He remembered the conversations they'd had, the problems they'd faced.

Silence settled over them and the captain slid into sleep. Spock waited and it had been several hours when two Doctors stepped into the room. Moving to his feet, Spock knew she was alive but he didn't know what her condition beyond that was.

"Your wife is alive," Spock heard the Doctor say. "But she will have a long road ahead of her. She received one hell of a beating and delaying treatment made her injuries more pronounced. The idiot ended up moving just right that one of her broken ribs punctured a lung nearly killing her. She flat lined twice during surgery." He wanted to argue that she wasn't an idiot but was stopped.

"Don't insult his wife, McCoy," the other doctor – Doctor Vera Ellen – lectured.

"Fine, whatever. The kid had a whole slew of injuries that, compounded on each other and left untreated, were nearly lethal including a slow bleed in her intestines that caused a great deal of blood loss. She fractured all twelve ribs – some multiple times. She also broke six of the twelve. There was also severe bruising along her back from what appeared to be hit marks. And her left shoulder was both dislocated and fractured. Her right ankle had two different radiating fractures. She had a cracked cheek bone and several bones around her eye were injured severely. Then there were also five breaks in her left hand that she's lucky we were able to repair. There was frost bite on the tips of her fingers – I'm surprised nobody noticed it. We were able to use a dermal regenerator on that and that it was only surface damage. She also had a severe concussion and there were cuts along her back beyond the bruises. And… does anyone know if she had any serious falls because that's what it looked like happened – as if she fell down a snow hill or cliff," Dr. McCoy say and all Spock could think was Delta Vega where he'd placed her so she'd be safe.

"Is that all?" Spock asked, not having heard any damage that came from being sexually assaulted like Nero had suggested which had him feeling relieved.

"Yeah… is there something else we should look for?" McCoy asked. He eyed him warily.

"I was not sure if he was taunting me into action so I would make a mistake or if he was serious but Nero – while Jamie and I were separated – eluded to the fact that one of his men were…" he shivered and the Doctor paled. There were two sharp intakes of breath. He didn't even need to say the word which he was grateful for.

"No, there weren't any signs of sexual assault. The scanner would have sent up a big red flag if there were," Dr. McCoy assured him and he felt relief.

"Thank you Dr. McCoy. Have all her injuries been helped to the best of your abilities?" Spock inquired.

"Yeah, some will have to heal over time though. For the most part all her bones are mended, the bleeding stopped, her lung repaired, and the dermal regenerator having taken care of her numerous bruises and frost bite. The concussion and a few other injuries will have to heal on their own," McCoy informed them. "Another thing – she needs sustained rest and food. Her stomach was completely empty. I doubt she's eaten anything since the apple she had for breakfast during the Kobyashi Maru."

Spock nodded, glancing toward the door.

"She's stable enough, we'll take you to her," Dr. Ellen said and McCoy nodded. They led Spock out of the room, Spock placing the picture back with its owner before heading to follow them.


	3. 2

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 2

_[Day 5 of 45]_

Spock entered the room and was shocked at the condition his wife was in. Now asleep she looked so much paler than she had before. He noticed how fragile she appeared as she laid in that bed.

"Oh, Tibby," he whispered before moving to her side. He went to sit next to her, ignoring the eyes of both Vulcans and Humans as he sat down. Her hand automatically reached out for his and he gripped hers gently.

The last time he'd seen her look that tired had been right after they survived _Pon Farr _together. It struck him that she would have been pregnant from _Pon Farr_ and neither had realized right away. He sat at her side wondering whether she would forgive him for all he'd done.

Now that everything was said and done he could see the logic in her every action. She'd been right in her decision and thinking back he could see she'd been right.

If he'd continued on his path the earth would have been destroyed – swallowed. He felt something akin to grief as he realized that if the earth had indeed been destroyed his children would have also been killed in the ensuing implosion.

Spock wanted to bow his head as he realized he'd almost killed his children but he could not… too many eyes were on him as it were. She was right when she mentioned he had pride. He was a Vulcan who prided himself on his ability to contain his emotions while everyone was looking. Though no Vulcan would admit to such emotions he'd been on the planet – sensed it when they were near enough to recognize the emotion for what it was. Though it was often quelled and not spoke of.

Focusing on calculating her injuries he was able to catalogue them.

Hours passed and he felt the irrational need to stay by her side. It was as if he was eighteen again, having found her beaten on the floor of her quarters. Back then he'd stayed at her side for days though the others kept trying to force him to go back to his life.

They'd wanted him to leave his _T'hy'la_, even if for an hour two but he couldn't. He sat at her side for several hours – long enough night came and the medical bay emptied for all but a few patients.

That's when Doctor McCoy walked over to him.

"You hurt her again I will kick your ass," the Doctor threatened. "You will pray never to be on my medical table because I will not be held accountable for my actions."

Spock went to speak – say that it would go against his oath to harm a patient but The Doctor cut him off before he could do more than open his mouth to speak.

"No. She's my best friend – the only one willing to befriend a heartbroken grumpy doctor. I've seen her hurt more times than I can count, mended more injuries than you can believe. The first time she took _your_ goddamned test she had to leave the children with Pavel and get drunk because it hurt her that god damned bad. It upset her balance bad enough she threw up. Her own mother slams her name every chance she gets telling her she's a whore and not worth a damned thing. So if you love her you had better get your act together and prove it because you've been doing a bang up job showing her how much you don't," the Doctor said.

There was a pause in the conversation then. They were basically alone so he made a confession he doubted he would be so open with anyone but kin again.

"I do love her…" he whispered while looking at his wife. He heard the other man straighten up. "That never changed. I'm not sure it could. I am forced to admit, when it comes to this woman I am emotionally and logically skewed. I often find logic overridden by my emotions and my need to protect her – even when my actions in the attempt to do so are illogical in nature."

"You need to tell her that," Doctor McCoy informed him. "Not me. I'm a Doctor, not a god damned marriage counselor!" Then the Doctor walked away.

"Peculiar," Spock muttered as he watched the man walk away before turning back to his wife. He sat there and focused on meditating as he knew he wouldn't sleep much until she was better.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Sarek followed his wife through the ship as she began toward the medical bay. She refused to tell him why she was returning. But he received his answer when he found his son meditating at his daughter-in-law's bedside.

Her form was still and he remembered a moment similar to this only they were not yet bound for all eternity.

"What has happened?" he questioned and his wife looked at him.

"The injuries she refused to get looked at caused her to collapse," Amanda told him as she looked at the pair. He viewed them, concerned by his son and his son's wife.

"Her actions are illogical," Sarek told his wife who shook her head.

"She is young and headstrong. Logic isn't why she works so well with him. She is emotional… though I have seen – she's grown up. It looks like she doesn't react first think later. She's become a balance between logic and instinct, between emotions," Amanda said softly and there was a snort from nearby but Sarek didn't bother to look at it.

They heard a shuffling from one of the beds and he saw a pregnant woman lying in the bed. Her body was taut, stiff.

Amanda walked over to Mrs. Kirk, looking over her. When she was assured of her health she returned to his side. Then they left her side and Sarek followed his wife back to the small quarters they now were housed in.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Pavel Chekov hurried through the halls, wanting to check up on Jim. He was worried as he'd heard from Gaila that Jim had had another surgery. The young boy ran and slid right into medical, almost clipping the door in his hurry.

He stopped though when he saw Jim Kirk lying there still which wasn't unusual though she was not alone.

Commander Spock was at her side, his face composed. It was then he saw a resemblance between Spock and Jory who got the same look when he meditated. He went to McCoy who told him that she was fine.

Feeling better with that information Pavel stepped out of the room giving the woman he viewed as a sister her peace with the husband she'd loved from afar for years. He was determined to protect her if it came to that.

He would not let that man – whether a commander or not – hurt her more than she already had been.

_~Slow Way Home~  
[Day 6]_

Vera watched as Doctor McCoy examined Jim who was in a medically induced coma. They knew if they let her wake up naturally she would escape the first chance she got when the medical bay got busy. She'd known the woman less than a year but she'd heard the rumors about 'her'.

The stories she heard – of her escapes and how no other doctor was allowed to work on her – had reached everyone at the hospital. Some had supposed he was in love with her but to anyone with eyes he was obviously in love with Gaila Roe. No… what was between those two was a friendship that was powerful, a camaraderie that would do anything.

Something told her that the three in that little area – The Commander, the Acting Captain, and the Chief Medical Officer – would be tied together for the rest of time, no matter what happened. The Commander was all logic, The Acting Captain was the instinct-the balance between the two, and the Doctor was the emotion.

Shaking her head she told Bones good night even though Alpha shift would be starting in an hour.

The commander was preparing for his shift though he was reluctant to leave his wife. It was that one moment that told Vera all she needed to know. Despite all his logic there was emotion in that man – just as there was logic in Bones' action. If only they could see that in each other.

Shaking her head she left for the night, early but Bones didn't seem to mind. She'd come in an hour early the next day.


	4. 3

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 3

_[Day 7 of 45]_

Jamie Kirk opened her bright blue eyes feeling a deep ache in her bones, but the pain she'd felt before was mostly gone now. Glancing around, her eyes had trouble focusing but she felt a hand in hers and automatically turned in that direction.

Spock was sitting at her side, his hand in hers. He was as rigid as when they were children.

"Spock," she whispered, her voice dry and raspy. His eyes snapped open and focused on her. The brown was intense and focused as if he couldn't believe she was really awake. "What happened?" What she really wanted to know is why the hell he was there with her. And how long she'd been out? A major part of her was still furious with him and hurt.

"Your injuries were severe and your refusal to receive treatment led to your collapse," he said and she heard that note – slight hesitation that was almost natural – most wouldn't notice that told her he'd been worried.

"Why?" she asked.

"I am not aware of why you did not seek treatment," he began but she cut him off.

"No – why are you here?" she asked, not caring that Bones was walking towards her, having realized she was now awake.

"I do not understand. You are my wife and are injured. I am off duty so where else would I be?" he questioned though she could hear it – he was struggling to find true logical decisions. Just because she was his wife, and injured didn't mean he would be there. That was faulty logic.

"Why though?" she asked. "I'm trying to keep up Spock, I really am, but your mood swings are giving me whiplash. One minute you are open, helping me then our bond is back. Next you're marooning me on Delta Vega where I could have been easily killed." She ignored his involuntary flinch. "Just tell me what you want? If you want to go back to before we found each other again then fine… but if you want to try and work this out…" she spoke, her throat hurting but she began coughing.

"Stop upsetting her," Bones snapped before moving to her side. "You need to calm down – your injuries are still severe."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Getting your ass handed to you tends to have that affect," she said and Bones snorted.

"How many hits did you lay on them?" Bones asked as he began scanning her.

"A few… but Romulan's are built like brick walls – literally. They hurt about the same," she told Bones who paused before shaking his head. Spock looked at her as if he was startled by that. "Anyways, my punches did more damage to me than it did them."

Bones grumbled something under his breath.

"I know you won't get any rest while here… you never do," Bones told her. "I will be sending you with your husband."

"What?" Jim asked, shocked. She really didn't want to be left alone with her husband.

"You need to rest, which you won't get here. Everyone's doubling or even tripling up in the quarters that are safe. Your husband is going to take you in," he said in a tone that told her not to argue. She grumbled under her breath.

"At least get some sleep yourself. Have you slept at all?" she asked and he did not respond. "Damn it, McCoy… you need sleep too. You're chief medical officer. If you collapse then who's going to save our asses when we get hurt?"

"Fine, brat. You go with your husband – sleep and relax. No worrying about anything," he told her.

"Easier said than done," she muttered. "When do I get out of here?"

"Spock, pick up your wife," Bones said and Spock did just that.

"Hey, I'm capable of walking," she argued as Spock picked her up bridal styled. Then they carried her from the room, her in that flimsy infirmary nightgown though she was glad this one had the ass in it. That would have been mortifying.

Instead she had to hide her face as everyone stopped respectfully as Spock carried her through the halls, Bones leading the way. Soon they arrived at a room and they entered. The room was Vulcan temperatures and she closed her eyes. It was fine with her but apparently Bones disagreed with her opinion.

"Why the hell is it so hot in here," Bones growled.

"It's set for Vulcan temperatures," she said as Spock moved to lay her down on the bed.

"You'll sweat to death in here," Bones told her. "Find a midpoint… how the hell did you survive temperatures like this?"

"Lots of water ingestion and a high amount of adaptability," she said cheekily as Spock returned, having disappeared. He had brought a glass of water with him. He sat it at her side. Once curled up she fell asleep – warm scents filling the air.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Spock went from meditation to fully alert in one second as he heard a muted scream. He'd been in the living/sitting area of his quarters so he stood and walked to the bed room. Jim was on her stomach, face pressed into a pillow, her knuckles white as she screamed.

Pain suddenly came toward him, fear. Whatever had been blocking their bond was gone right then and he sensed every emotion.

Hurrying to her side he placed a hand on her back. She came awake swinging fast which he caught gently and securely. Facing him sudden realization dawned on her and he released his grip.

Tears ran down her cheeks and he was unsure of what to do. He did not know how to help her. That's when she pulled him forward, latching on. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body. Whatever she'd dreamt it had truly rattled her.

After some time she relaxed and he felt her grip loosen. Looking down he saw he saw her breathing was slow and steady, even. She'd fallen asleep. Lowering her gently he wished he knew what she'd dreamt about. But her mind was a mystery to him. He didn't know what made her become the woman she'd become since they were eighteen.

Mentally shaking his head he brushed a strand of her short chin length dark blonde-almost light brown hair out of her face. It had darkened with age and he found he did not mind. He did miss the length.

He had not realized he always imagined her with long hair so much that he would not recognize her with short hair. Controlling the urge to sigh he stood up and checked the air's temperature. It was almost earth normal. She didn't need to get sick.

With her immune system being as it were, it would not take much prompting to become compromised.

From there he went to go back to meditate but thought the better of it. Instead he went and laid on the bed. She curled up into his chest and he couldn't help the corner of his lips turning upwards as he felt her weight leaning against him. Then his arms wrapped around her as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. 4

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 4

_[Day 8 of 45]_

Waking up Jamie Tabitha Kirk found herself alone in bed. Faint memories of a nightmare the night before then waking up and crying all over her husband filled her mind. She couldn't help the embarrassed blush that crossed her face.

It was mortifying. She didn't cry over every nightmare. Though, she had to admit, that nightmare included her worst fear. Probably the worst fear of every mother along with recent events which made it nearly happen.

Sighing she leaned against the pillows, her body still sore and feeling heavy. Silently she pushed herself to stand though everything protested. She needed to shower and she needed to eat. Shower first, eat second. She hadn't eaten since the test and her body was complaining vehemently. But she wanted to feel clean.

Moving to the bathroom she walked to the sonic shower.

It didn't take long for all the grime to come off. Then she stepped out, replicating herself another black uniform. From there she headed toward the door but was cut off by her absent husband who walked in carrying a tray of food.

"The Doctor has informed me that your last meal was an apple on earth," Spock said as the door closed behind him. Then he took it to a little table in the center of the room. Walking over she saw toast, pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs. She wondered how many of his replicator rations he used on the breakfast.

"Spock, you didn't have to do this," she told him. Though most would call the look he gave her detached she saw his stubbornness and his annoyance. "Seriously. If I eat all this at once I'll get sick."

He nodded.

"Eat what you can without making yourself ill," he told her. She shook her head at him wondering if she'd ever learn to deal with his mood swings. At least now they were being civil – and he wasn't marooning her. She hadn't forgotten that little incident, she just wanted to attempt to be civil for the moment.

"Thank you," she told him. Then she sat down while he grabbed the only piece of Vulcan food from the table – plomeek soup. "And, I'm sorry about my little episode last night."

"What episode are you speaking of?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Crying on you because of a nightmare," she told him before taking a bite of toast. He went to argue but she groaned at how good the toast tasted.

"There is no need to apologize for a natural reaction," he told her and she frowned but just took another bite of toast. She ate both slices of toast, about half the eggs and the smallest of the three pancakes. She didn't bother going for the bacon or sausage.

She then bit her lips.

"We have children," she said suddenly, needing to get it out there. She couldn't keep the secret. Secrets didn't help anyone. Looking at him there wasn't any surprise in his features and she knew somebody told him which annoyed the hell out of her.

"The captain already informed me," Spock told her. "I apologize that I was not there when they were young." She heard his sadness in his words.

"I tried calling everyday for a year. But the consulate wouldn't let me through and then they told me you weren't on Vulcan anymore and wouldn't tell me where you'd gone. I didn't realize you were on Earth."

"I assumed you would not want to be a part of Starfleet. I remember you said that your father was killed in the line of duty and you'd seemed… angry at the time," he told her. "I've been searching for you but…"

"My information is labeled private. Growing up people always wanted interviews with 'the Kelvin Baby' and… I had to block it to get privacy," she admitted, hating how people only ever saw her father and the Kelvin. Her thoughts drifted off to the older Spock. She wondered what that world would have been like.

Only she was interrupted by Spock moving to stand.

"I zoned out… I'm sorry," she muttered.

"You are still recovering. Doctor McCoy will be back shortly to check on you," he told her. She frowned, hating that Spock was so worried about her. She felt him pushing at her barriers which weren't as thick as before. She wasn't as angry and hurt anymore.

Yes, it was still there, but now she just wanted to get home. She wanted to get home, to her children. She must have zoned again because she squeaked as Spock picked her up, again, and carried her to the bed.

"What's with you and carrying me?" she asked annoyed. She wouldn't admit that the idea that he was holding her, that close, had her wanting to reach out and kiss him. She had to keep herself from shifting in his arms.

She was a woman after all. And she was one who had been without sex for a very long time.

He sat her on the bed but didn't respond. Then he went to clean up breakfast. It annoyed the hell out of her. But she didn't argue. Instead she laid back into Spock's pillows. She was still tired – maybe exhausted was a better description. She slid to sleep with ease.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Lady Amanda Grayson knew she wasn't like most women. She wasn't backward with her opinion when she needed to be, she could be the perfect Vulcan mother and wife when the situation dictated it, she could be ambassador if need be. But she was always a mother first – and now grandmother.

But she had two children now, with two grandchildren. One child was her blood and one was through marriage. And her daughter-in-law was hurt. This required she check in on her despite what her husband said.

So she went to her son's door, waiting to be let in.

Her son answered the door and she smelt incense and saw dim lighting. He moved to grant her access so she entered.

"Is she…" Amanda asked but her son shook his head.

"She is asleep," he stated. "She is still recovering."

"Has she said anything?" Amanda asked as she stepped into the room, smelling incense. This was the commander's quarters meaning they were larger than the regular room. There was a separate area through a doorway that led to a bedroom. An office which, if they remained on the ship, could be turned into a room for the twins. Then there was the main room in which all the others extended. This included the bathroom which led to the captain's quarters.

"We have talked," he told her vaguely.

"About?" she questioned, being a nosy mother. But her son could be so dense sometimes. She needed to make sure he actually spoke to his wife and not in inconsequential ways either.

"She had a nightmare and it unsettled her to the point she was in tears," he informed her and she saw how… concerned he really was about that. "She apologized for her reaction this morning. Then she corrected me on how much food I purchased for her sitting the fact if she ate it all she would become ill. Then we discussed our children in minor detail."

"Anything else?" Amanda asked. He shook his head.

"She did not seem upset with me this morning?" Spock said and Amanda looked at her son with a cocked head.

"I wouldn't bet on that, Spock. You abandoned her on an ice planet where she could have _died_. You basically ignored her and insulted how much she knew about you," Amanda reminded her son while Spock seemed to bow his head in shame. "She's probably trying to be civil for now. But be prepared. When that dam breaks, you may want to be ready to run. It won't be pretty." He frowned at her words. "That means there will be a lot of yelling, a lot of anger. Imagine your temper, your wife's temper, And an enclosed space with both of you feeling you were right and not about to admit one of you may have been wrong."

He actually shivered at the image.

"Logic will not be able to sooth her," he stated.

"Now you're getting it. And, by the way, your thoughts were not logical. Now, change of subject. How are you taking the discovery that you're a father?" Amanda asked when she heard the shuffling of blankets.

"I am not sure I understand," he told his mother.

"You understand, you just won't acknowledge it," she said, leveling him with a glare. He nodded.

"I am finding the idea of fatherhood… unnerving I believe is the word," he told her. "They are already children. I have missed all of their early development. I… I am not sure how I should be feeling."

"And the fact your daughter is very human?" she asked.

"I am thankful for that," he stated automatically. "She will be just as strong willed as her mother. This assures she will be able to withstand the persecution brought by other Vulcans. Her brother… he will try to logically understand. But the emotion will always escape him."

"You wish he wasn't as Vulcan as you?" Amanda asked, pushing her son verbally. She ignored the swoosh of the door though her son didn't seem to notice. He was too wrapped in his thoughts.

"I… I am proud that he is Vulcan. But I fear for him," Spock admitted. "He will not understand other people. He will understand logic, and science, but not those around him."

"He understands more than the average Vulcan," Dr. McCoy said and they turned to face him. "Then again, considering he has a human twin sister, a mother like Jim, a bunch of humans teaching him, and… My daughter… as his best friend he understands more of humanity than he'd care to admit. Now, where is the brat?"

"Excuse me?" Spock asked.

"Through there, sleeping," Lady Amanda Grayson told the Doctor. Spock went to speak and she shook her head at her son, stopping him.

He went into the room and Spock watched the Doctor scan her.

"She's healing nicely," the Doctor said returning. "Make sure she stays in bed."

"Understood," Spock told the Doctor who then excused himself. Things lulled off.

_[First off, I would like to apologize for the delay in reviewing… I just graduated high school two weeks ago and now have a job which takes up the time I used to spend on writing. Anyways… what do you think? Do you like it, hate it, neutral? I would love to hear any comments or concerns… _

_I would also like to send a special thanks to _Anime Princess, gilmorefreak23, BetahimeTsukiko, ilovgaara99, NewSlove, Fernsfairie (_3xs_), cuteepiee1, RubyHair, Yana5, blueoctober, MirrorFlower and DarkWind (_3xs), and _Fire Dolphin _(3xs) for your reviews. Anyways, sorry again...]_


	6. 5

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 5

_[Day 9 of 45]_

Jamie Tabitha Kirk awoke and she wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep. All she knew was she was still tired but feeling better. Without thinking she stretched and felt the slight ache in her still healing bones and tissues. But she was restless.

Moving to stand up Jim went and changed into a new black pair of pants and a black undershirt. Then with as little limp as she could, her ankle bothering her, she went to the door.

Bones would be pissed when he learned she'd skipped out on his orders. But she had slept enough already.

So she walked down the hall to the lift, riding down. She went to engineering and found Scotty, doing repairs. She walked up to him, ignoring how people stopped respectfully before continuing onward.

"Hey, Scotty," she called and he turned to face her with a smile.

"Lassy, you're awake. An' lookin' better. Though still bruised I see," he stated. She just shrugged at that. Didn't matter much anyways. Bruises healed fast enough and mending bones left surface bruises that didn't hurt.

"Ah, takes more than a few bruises to stop me. Since the commander won't let me see my Padds to see updates on the girl's repairs… plus I'm going stir crazy in that room, I was wondering if you'd tell me in person," she stated.

With that they both began to work as he told her that they'd finally confirmed it would take about thirty-six more days to get back to earth. They had a lot of the radiation leaks repaired and they were working on increasing propulsion.

"We haven't tried with long range communications yet. The main emitter was damaged and the only way to gain access would be ta space walk," he told her.

"Then save that though we will need it up soon," she told him. "We need to let Starfleet Command know what has happened in detail." He nodded. "So, everything seems to be steadily working. What can I help with?" He hesitated. "If you need confirmation that I can do the work ask Lieutenant Pavel Chekov or Lieutenant Gaila Roe for my skills. Not McCoy because he'll drag me back to the Commander's quarters."

He smiled at her and sent her off to work. The work was steady. Where she was she was able to get lost in the pattern, the repetition. She got lost in the work. Jamie Tabitha Kirk knew she was good at most things. No, she wasn't good with people and some thought she had a death wish.

But she understood the mechanics of a space vessel like the Enterprise. She could have been a Mechanic. She'd been offered – many times – the ability to change her major from Captaincy to Head Mechanic. She also understood Navigation though Piloting for long distances she wasn't that good at – short jonts she could do. She also was a great fighter – though she was questioning that after the beatings those Romulans gave her.

So she set about doing the work with ease. Time slipped beyond her purview. All she knew was eventually a cooler hand touched hers as she worked. Looking up she found a face – not one she had expected – staring back at her.

She'd expected Spock, or McCoy, or maybe Lady Amanda there pulling her away. But it was none of them. Instead she found herself staring into the dark brown eyes of the Vulcan Matriarch – T'Pau.

"_You did not seem to hear. And humans react to physical stimuli," _T'Pau said in Vulcan as she removed her hand.

"_I apologize. I was focusing on the work,"_ Jamie said as she bowed her head. _"How may I help you, Lady T'Pau?" _

"_I would like to inquire about the startling information that you and Spock have not spoken in many years and how that came about… from your point-of-view,"_ T'Pau stated. _"And just call me T'Pau. Lady T'Pau is too formal for family." _

"_Yes… T'Pau,"_ Jamie said as she began to tell her the story – of near daily calls then being informed that Spock was no longer on Vulcan. Of how they would not connect her to him and the years. She also informed T'Pau that the children were telepaths/empaths. They were powerful but it hurt them dearly at times.

Somehow, along the way, T'Pau was able to manipulate Jim into walking and they made their way to Spock's quarters.

"_I shall make inquiries. I believe somebody purposely blocked you but for what reason I can only make guesses… and I would hardly without proof," _T'Pau said. _"Now, once we are on Earth I demand to meet your children and see how much of the Vulcan Culture they are aware of."_

"_Yes, ma'am," _Jamie said as Spock walked down the hall. She felt his annoyance and saw he had just gotten off of his shift. She wanted to swear.

"Jamie," Spock said. His eyes glanced between her and T'Pau and the wrinkles between his eyes that showed his concern formed rapidly. "Lady T'Pau."

"Spock… I will leave you two," she said before nodding and walking away down the corridor. Once she was out of sight Jamie entered the room with Spock following close behind.

"Doctor McCoy…" Spock began as the door closed and she turned to face him.

"Bones knows, well enough, that I esc ape first chance I get and never follow medical orders," she snapped and he looked at her, seeming startled for a moment. "And he would have known, by now, that I escaped. The fact he didn't call over the Comm for me means he knew I was well enough to be walking around… so don't go snapping about my health."

"He contacted me when he discovered you were absent," he told her, though his voice a bit sharper than before. "He came in to scan you and found you missing. He, Lieutenant Uhuras and Roe, and I have been searching for you since you were discovered missing."

"Its not that big of a ship, and I wasn't hiding. I was in engineering, getting an update on the ships progress _you_ wouldn't allow me to see as well as helping out," she snapped while walking toward the bathroom for a drink of water then she returned, still furious.

"We were… concerned," he informed her.

"Sure _you _were," she scoffed. Then she went toward her bed, pulling off her clothing and replicating a shorts outfit to sleep in.

"You may not wish to believe it… but I was concerned about you," he told her and she looked at him. He looked sincere. "Mother warned me you would still be angry…" he began but she snorted.

"Understatement of the year Spock. And since we're talking about emotions… when did your ego get so big you were blind to everything that was right in front of you?" she demanded. She wasn't going to be nice. He flinched.

"I always imagined you as you were, reddish tan skin with long flowing blonde hair, not the sandy blonde, almost brown you now have," he informed her and she shook her head.

"I meant Nero. You let your ego – your belief that you knew everything, almost destroy the earth. Since when have you been that sort of man?" she demanded from the bed. He flinched again at her words as if she'd struck him.

"My anger got the better of me," he admitted and she did a double take. "I saw only the destruction of Vulcan and thought only of the orders given to me… not of the overall orders. I… saw what I wanted to see." She wanted to stay mad. She really did. But the way he spoke, admitting to emotional influence, drained the anger from her.

"I guess I can admit, my mind was mostly thinking – what if the earth is destroyed? What if I lose my children? What if Bones loses his daughter, or Vera? What if the twins lose their friends? We were both emotionally distraught over different things," she admitted and he moved to sit beside her, his hand moving to envelope hers.

"They are on earth, which was not destroyed. They did not perish, and are waiting for your return," he informed her and she moved to lean on him.

"Amanda and George need you," she told him without looking at his face. "They need their father." Then she turned to face him, his soft brown eyes looking into her blue. They were like when they were teens again, his eyes as emotional as they once were. "No matter what happens between us, don't forsake them. Promise me you will be there for them…"

"I would never forsake them… nor would I forsake you," he told her before moving to cup her cheek, his thumb rubbing it gently in an all too human way. "I promise to love and protect them, and be there for them, as I will their mother."

She smiled but the smile didn't last as a thought entered her mind. It was a thought she knew had to be said so she spoke it aloud.

"We aren't the same Spock. We've changed since the last time we saw each other… and I know Uhura has feelings for you. Honestly, you and she would be a better match that you and I ever would," she told him honestly and he turned to face her.

"Maybe it would… maybe it wouldn't. It does not matter for I made a choice, and a commitment many years ago. I chose you, knowing we were not similar. You and I are opposites, but we are what the other needs. It won't be easy – you and me. But, as I do recall, it was never easy. We were often angering or upsetting the other, to the point of avoidance," he told her and she gave him a look.

"No… that was _you_ avoiding _me_ if I remember correctly, and pissing me off," she told him. He nodded his head as she yawned, the anger having drained away, and she was suddenly tired again. He pulled her close, leaning back with her in his arms. She felt herself drifting off the moment she was horizontal.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Commander Spock laid there in bed, with his wife's head on his chest, her breath moving the material of his shirt with every exhale. She was deep in REM sleep, another hand wrapped in the material that wasn't moving, her eyes flickering back and forth underneath her lids.

Running a thumb along the back of her hand he closed his eyes, picking up two children at a table, Padds before them. At the end was Ensign Chekov with his own work, and she was watching them, just watching. A content dream that he opened his eyes from.

He had to swallow back a lump that formed.

When he'd spoken with her earlier he'd told her the truth. He would be there for the twins, and for her. He'd missed so much time with them that he had to get to know them. They were already children. Their informative years had been spent without knowing each other. He had not influenced them, and his family had not been of any influence either.

His mental ramblings were interrupted when the door opened and in walked Ms. Roe.

"Is she okay?" the red headed Orion asked in a whisper, moving to sit on the edge of the bed closest to Jamie Tabitha Kirk.

"She is in sufficient health," he stated and the woman rolled her eyes – reminding him of Jamie.

"Right…" she stated in a quiet voice before looking her over with her eyes then at him. "Sorry about barging in like this… she was the first friend I made at the academy. Nobody wanted to befriend the Orion whore… but she did, because she was just as misunderstood. All of our friends were what some would consider the outcasts at the school – the Orion, the Grumpy Southern Doctor, the child Prodigy… We were all different than everyone else." He nodded, able to see his wife bonding with a group like that. "Oh, and don't forget Doctor Vera Ellen. Her daughter is one of Mandy's best friends… also Orion." He nodded.

"You two… are interrupting a nice dream," Jamie muttered before burying her face in his shirt. He went to move and she tightened her grip. "No… I like using you for a pillow." She was half asleep and Gaila Roe smiled. Then Jamie muttered something else before drifting back to sleep.

"I'm glad she's happy again. She hasn't been for a very long time," Lieutenant Roe stated softly. "She pretends to be… and I think she was content… but I don't know that Happy was in her vocabulary anymore."

He nodded his head, while reaching up to brush a strand of almost light-brown hair from in front of her eyes.

"When we parted, I had not considered we would be parted as long as we were," he admitted. "I assumed, naively, we would find each other within a year. Even after that year I still assumed it would not be difficult to find her. But the longer we were apart, the more I worried, and when she regularly began flatlining…" he shivered.

"She always has been slightly reckless… and the older she gets, the worse that gets," Ms. Roe told him before looking him in the eyes. "But you hurt her again… and I promise you will regret it… and will suffer for it." He nodded. She wasn't the first person to threaten him to keep him from injuring his wife.

"I have no intention of doing her damage," he whispered while looking down at his wife. Her eyes fluttered open with a huff before sitting up.

"Not that I don't mind being talked about like I'm not here… but seriously, I'm trying to sleep," Jamie said irritably. "So both of you, out… yes Spock, I'm temporarily kicking you out of your own room." He raised a brow but didn't say a word. Instead he followed Ms. Roe from the room. The door closed behind them and Ms. Roe shook her head.

"She's better…" there was a smile on her face before she looked at him. "Commander." Then she walked out leaving a very confused Vulcan in her wake.

What was that woman thinking? His Tibby had some strange friends…

_[I'm back… no big month long break this time… anyways, what did you think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Was it neutral? Any comments, questions, or concerns are appreciated. I would also like to thank everyone who has favorited or subscribed so far. I would also like to give a special thank you to _Maddie, Jasperhaleslover, Medafo, Fernsfairie (_2xs)_, Gigi, Liberty Girl In the Sky, RubyHair _(2xs), _CHANCEGAMBIT, beauty02102 _(5xs)_, Kassandra J, Fire Dlophin _(2xs), _aseret91, blueoctober, MirrorFlower and DarkWind _(2xs), _TheJadePhoenix, Yana5, _and _BetahimeTsukiko _for your reviews_.

_On a side note… the argument is not done… this is only the tip. The true explosion – I plan on it being much bigger – and I plan it will occur thanks to some meddling… anyways, thanks again…]_


	7. 6

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 6

_[Day 11 of 45]_

Leonard McCoy stood there with his scanner in hand, looking over the results as the acting captain – that bratty kid – sat on the biobed, swinging her legs back and forth in boredom.

"So… what's the verdict? Am I well enough to return to active duty?" she asked. His first response was to tell her no but medically she was fine. As long as she didn't do anything dangerous, or anything too straining for the next few days she should be fine. But this was Jamie Tabitha Kirk. She lived for the danger. She lived for the thrill of adventure. With her children not around who knew what trouble she would get into.

"You are fine, still a little weak. No more working in Engineering for the next few days, and only paperwork," he informed her and she groaned. Though, she had the decency to look down as he called her out on the work she'd been doing.

"But Bones…" she whined, using that kidish tone that sometimes got her out of trouble, or got her her way. Depending on how she used it. He just looked at her. "Paperwork is _so _boring." Her husband raised a brow at that.

"Yeah, but your bones are still weak from the breaks… and aren't healing as quickly as I would like. Though everything else is back to pre-Kobyashi Maru but your bones are weak. Too much stress and they may rebreak. Be careful with that hand," he lectured and she rolled her eyes at him. He knew she wasn't taking anything serious. "And you'll need to ingest more iron. You are slightly anemic. Not sure when or how that came to be." He didn't like the fact she was anemic. As far as he could tell there was no reason for her to be anemic. "Also, even though I've cleared you for light duty… that does not mean you two can go…" He shook his head and she laughed.

"Worried Spock and I will go at it like Rabbits huh?" She asked. Even though the Vulcan's face remained impassive the tips of his ears turned bright green. Interesting. "He's just as worried about my health as you are. He wouldn't come near me with a ten foot pole, even if I did try to seduce him." The tone told him she was still annoyed and seduction wasn't on the agenda any time soon.

"Make sure she takes these," he told the commander, handing him the Hypos. "One right before bed until I give orders to stop." The commander nodded. "And make sure she stays away from too much physical exertion."

"I will ensure she does as you order, Dr. McCoy," Spock told him. She glared and then turned to him.

"How's the captain?" Jim asked, changing the subject, and he frowned, having known it was only a matter of time. She'd been too tired before to ask. Now, she was better and her mind was worried about the old man.

"He's fine… though we have another surgery scheduled for tonight," he told her and she paled. "There was a lot of damage… and we only have so much technology at our disposal. However, I believe we can get everything with one more surgery… though he won't be back on duty for at least a month or two… after we get earthside. Plus that stunt, getting out of bed so soon after his first surgery didn't help much." She nodded. Then she glanced toward Danni who was unconscious... again. She was never awake very long.

The Vulcan Doctors doubted she'd survive. They said her mind hadn't been, psychically, strong to begin with. When the bond snapped it broke her will to live. The only thing keeping her alive was her love for her unborn child. But everyone theorized the moment she gave birth the will would be gone.

"How is Danni?" she asked quietly.

"Surviving… though, the Vulcan Doctors believe she'll lose the will to survive once she's given birth. The bond… it really destroyed her," he informed the woman who nodded, looking down. Bones saw Spock glanced between Jim and Danni. A visible shudder passed through the Vulcan husband of his best friend.

"And the baby?" she asked.

"A Vulcan Doctor named..." he began, but said Doctor walked in and Jim perked up.

The Vulcan walked over.

"Mrs. Kirk," he said respectfully and Jim nodded her head though her face became very controlled.

"S'Nau, it has been too long," she informed him. "It is good to see a familiar face."

"And you. I have heard I owe you and your bondmate my thanks. If you had not alerted the Hospital we wouldn't have been able to escape," he informed them and Bones stood back watching.

"I'm afraid, that is more my husband's doing than anything I did," she told him. There was modesty in her words that startled him. The Vulcan nodded.

"How are your children?" the man asked and she beamed.

"Last I saw they were fine. Brilliant actually. My daughter wants to become a Starfleet captain while my boy keeps talking about becoming a Starfleet Medical Officer," she informed them. He nodded his head at her. Then she looked at Danni. Bones saw that. "Is the baby alright?"

"Unlike with your pregnancy… this child has not had a strong maternal bond. Mrs. Marx had a Psi-Null mind that is normal, compared to your naturally strong psychic field. But the child is strong… with heightened psychic potential. From my limited research human-vulcan hybrids…" the Doctor said and Spock tensed. That was something for Bones to remember. "Are more prone to stronger psychic abilities. The combination of human and Vulcan seems to combine, increasing the abilities of the child."

"Yeah, that would explain a lot… but shouldn't the abilities of the twins be less due to…" Jim began but he shook his head while Bones listened, curious.

"Your mind is powerful enough – if you trained you could receive thoughts from telepaths… it's why your children are as strong as they are," He told her. She nodded. Then he looked over at Danni and Bones thought he saw a flash of concern but it was too fast. "I should return to my duties."

Then he walked away and they looked at her. He raised a brow and she shrugged.

"My prenatal doctor," she told them. "So… am I getting out of here or what?"

"Follow my orders," he told her and she nodded. "Otherwise, you'll be fine."

"Thank you," she squeaked before turning and rolling her eyes at her husband. Then she walked out. That was interesting. She was obviously still upset. He was glad he wasn't on that end of her anger… this time. He knew it would be a while before it blew over. Shaking his head Leonard McCoy went back to his work as another person brought in.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Jim Kirk entered the Bridge and immediately everyone stood at attention. She didn't know whether or not to be pleased by that. She, technically, shouldn't have even been onboard that ship let alone the captain. So she nodded at them before moving to the Captain's seat. Alpha shift was just starting so her and the Commander entering wasn't that big of a deal.

Just as she sat down she watched Pavel sprint into the room. He was late and she noticed his eyes were red.

She hadn't had much time with him and she began to wonder what she missed. But she couldn't ask in front of everyone. Not that she'd needed too. Opening the first file on her Padd she got a list of the Ships destroyed, and the crew members on board. Reading the list she came across one name that she knew was the cause. **JENNA. **Pavel's girlfriend. She kept her control, kept her emotions concealed. After all, it was expected of a captain – or acting Captain – to be in control. Even when emotionally compromised they are expected to hold an air of strength about them.

As she continued to read she read just about the entire graduating class, students she'd had classes with – some of the teachers who had been like Captain Pike. And the Enterprise was not exempt of such losses. There were numerous – including senior officer Doctor Puri and officer Olsen. She kept it together though. She ignored the list of survivors which was far shorter.

Instead she began reading the list of damages to the ship. The amount of damage was… immense. She might as well have read a list of systems not damaged. It would have been shorter. It went; Deck Six was open to the vacuum of space – no hope until they got the ship to port, shields were basically nonexistent, no warp core, impulse engines were straining though manageable, structural cracks everywhere in the hull, Barely enough living space, half the replicators were… faulty at best and nonfunctional at worst, and they had no way of communicating until somebody space walked and repaired the external drive. And that was just an overview.

The young woman continued to read the Padd, memorizing everything, including death list, problems that had arisen, as well as the problems they'd cared for at the time being, about power distribution. She also read how they estimated another thirty-four days until they were back at earth. That was if nothing went wrong – knowing her luck it would.

Still, she read, doing paperwork, signing what needed to be signed. She was in charge after all. And her mind went back to the fact the ship had been new. When they left earth this had been the shining new ship of the fleet. This was the one she'd seen be built when she arrived back on earth five-years-ago. She'd watched it be built and slowly become the ship that was nearly destroyed by that psychotic Romulan.

How long she read she wasn't sure. There was a lot of paperwork and she tore through it. It wasn't until a hand touched her shoulder and she realized they were all leaving, the next shift coming on.

She nodded at Spock and they stood up. The walk was slow until they left then she looked for Pavel. She found him walking slowly from there and Jim pulled from her husband, going to the man she thought of as a younger brother.

Going to Pavel she touched his shoulder.

"We need to talk," she whispered. He looked up and she saw he wanted to cry again. He nodded his head. Then she left her husband watching as she led her 'brother' to her quarters. She sat him down in the main sitting area. "I'm sorry Pavel." He nodded. "You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head.

"I vant to forget," he told her softly.

"I wish I could help you do that," she said before wrapping her arm around his thin shoulders. He rested his head against her shoulder and she felt him begin to cry soundlessly. She just held him as he cried. He cried and cried, until he exhausted himself. She laid him down, moving to grab a cover when the door opened. In walked Spock and his mother.

"Jamie," Spock began but she held up a finger to silence him, before nudging toward the bedroom. As they walked past her she brushed down Pavel's unruly hair before following the pair.

"Isn't that the little genius… Chekov?" Amanda Grayson asked.

"Yeah… he's been my roommate since I joined Starfleet. It just hit him that his girlfriend died on the Truman," she told them and they nodded.

"I was wondering if there was anything that I could do?" Amanda asked. "You know… to help with our current situation."

"I don't know..." she responded honestly. "There is a lot that needs done – they need people with medical skills in the Medical Bay, or people with mechanical skills, or any sort of science skills that would help in engineering and help fix the ship, but… I don't know what…"

"I'll figure something out," Lady Amanda told her. "Thank you." Jamie smiled at the woman.

"If anyone else from the Vulcan Community wants to help… tell them they have my permission to use whatever skills… since I know most are idol right now – even if they have the skills," she told them.

"I will inform them," Spock said. Inside she felt conflicting emotions; Frustration, upset, love, lust, and minute traces of anger. The Frustration was with him over everything, as well as her own inability to stay angry at him for long. The Love was… he was the father of her children, her bond-mate. The anger was more along the lines of hurt. Then there was also Lust because… she was a woman who hadn't had sex in five years with the prime example of a male standing in front of her.

"Thank you, Spock," she informed him and he nodded his head slightly.

Mrs. Grayson looked at them then excused herself silently.

"I shall leave you…" Spock began when they heard the ominous sound of the door locking. Jim went to open it but found it wouldn't respond – even to her ordering the door unlocked.

"She's your mother!" Jim growled as she fell onto the bed, angry.

"What logical reason would mother have for locking us in here?" Spock wondered aloud.

"Probably to get us to talk!" she snapped. "She knows I'm still upset with you." His brow rose. "Yeah, my argument with you isn't done. I'm still upset – angry, frustrated, betrayed." He frowned. "And you know what… I'm tired. I've spent years, wondering what a reunion with you would be like. And what do I get – finding out you and Uhura have been flirting behind my back, that you've been working at the school I've been attending since I started, and then you go and accuse me of cheating. Then you abandon me on an Ice planet. So you know what, any anger I may or may not feel would be completely understandable."

"Lieutenant Uhura and I have a professional…" Spock began and she cut him off.

"Oh yeah, then how come she was planning on asking you out when she completed your class, had already asked you out. She talked hours about you with her roommate? Those are not the actions of a woman who was given the impression that their relationship was _just_ professional!" she snapped back, her voice loud but she didn't care.

"I was not aware of her intentions towards me. I never saw what signs there were, through my own belief that she saw it as professional – student to instructor."

"Well she obviously didn't get the memo," she informed him with a sarcastic snort.

"As for Delta Vega – I believed it would be the safest course of action," he informed her. "I thought you would be safer there… that they would retrieve you and you would be safe."

"Yeah, well, it was the middle of a blizzard and I had to climb a large number of feet – free-hand, then walk through the storm, only to nearly turn into the food of two aliens of differing species. I almost died, numerous times. I survived because I got into a cave which the alien couldn't enter because it was too large," she informed him, lying only slightly. It could enter – but it had indeed been her safety. "There I met Scotty – who I'd helped before on earth. He got us back here and you insulted me in some of the worst ways imaginable. And I love you – and you insulted me deeply. Insulted how much I knew you. Insulted my ability to read you. Insulted basically everything. You were worse than the bigoted assholes I met back in Iowa!" She took a breath and saw how ramrod stiff he was.

"I… was not aware…" he whispered. "I… apologize..."

"I… god Spock. You don't, and can't understand," she growled before getting up and began to pace. Right then she wanted to hit something, somebody. She wanted to fight. She wanted to run. To do something.

"I apologize. I know that… my logic was not completely correct, and I have been allowing my emotions more sway over my perceptions than I should," he began and she rolled her eyes. He made it so goddamned hard to be mad. Which annoyed the hell out of her all on its own. "My choice to send you to Delta Vega – was my belief that you would be safer there than on the ship. I refused to consider your own personality when making the decisions."

"God damn it. Will you stop being so… unemotional?" she questioned. "I'm blocking the bond and… I can't sense your emotions and you've got yourself wrapped so tight I can't see any of them." There was a flash of anger. Good, finally a discernible reaction from him. "Finally, anger, an emotion I can read."

"You wish for me to… reveal my emotions?" He asked but she could see he wasn't really asking but stating a fact. "You cheated on an exam – yes, which I brought you up on charges like any person would not aware. I will not apologize for bringing up the charges – only for not realizing you were my wife. Also, rumors that you have been… unfaithful have come to my attention. While I sense nothing from our bond to indicate such… actions have occurred…" he began but she stopped him.

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you Spock," she said. "If you sense nothing has occurred then why bring it up. You know I'm a flirt. You knew when you married me. God. You know what. If you are so worried about my fidelity why don't you sever the bond?" He actually paled but she turned away, moving to lay down. Then she whispered, "maybe then you can go have children with one of the Vulcan females." It hurt since she knew she wouldn't have any more children.

There would be no David. No Asil. No Kiri.

"I want nobody but you," he told her, before sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand moving toward her. She flinched before she could stop it. "You are the only woman I want to be mother of my children."

"I can't have anymore," she told him and he tensed. "If you want more… you'll have to go elsewhere. The pregnancy with the twins made it imp… improbable that I'll ever be able to conceive let alone carry another child to term."

"That doesn't matter," he told her. "No matter how… angry and frustrated we get you will always be my _t'hy'la. _My friend, my sister, and lover. The other half of me." She actually smiled at that and turned to look at him. He brushed a thumb against her cheek and only then did she realize she was crying. "No woman would ever compare to you, my love."

She smiled before leaning up, kissing him. Screw what bones said. The moment they kissed she felt the bond reform. Though there were still issues they'd talked – more like she'd yelled and he'd listened – through some of the major ones. Now she was a woman. And women had needs. Especially women who knew just how talented the man in front of her was. He leaned her back, pressing his lips against hers hungrily.

Her hands wandered under his shirt and she quickly removed it, barely pulling away from the kiss. He continued to kiss, his hands exploring her body again but he stopped her when she went to remove his pants.

"Dr. McCoy informed us both that we cannot proceed past this point," he told her though his breathing was heavy and his pupils were heavily dilated already. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

"God damn Bones," she muttered. Then she let her head fall backwards. She was extremely frustrated, her body already needing him despite the fact all they'd really done was kiss – tongues fighting for dominance. He seemed to contemplate something and she blushed as she realized he was picking up her every thought and emotions. "Sorry."

"There is nothing to apologize for," he told her before pulling back. She laid there, pulling him to lie beside her. At least they could sleep in the same bed. And her anger had zapped her of most of her energy.

She fell asleep in his arms.

_~Slow Way Home~_

"Did they kill each other?" Pavel asked when everything got quiet. He was worried about Jim.

"No," Lady Amanda Grayson and he moved from the couch to see her open the door, the pair asleep. Jim's chest was on his bare chest though she was fully clothed still. "Apparently my meddling has helped."

He nodded his head.

_[Another Update… Sorry about the delay. Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone who has been waiting patiently for my next update. I'd love to thank everyone who has read, Favorited, and/or subscribed so far. I'd also like to send special thanks to _beauty0102, DarkandDaisuke, Sofia Ann, MirrorFlower and DarkWind, Gigi, medafo, blueoctober, Kassandra J, RubyHair, Fernsfairie, CHANCEGAMBIT, BetahimeTsukiko, LoveSpock, _and _Yana5 _for your reviews. Thank you.]_


	8. 7

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 7

_[Day 13 of 45]_

Jamie Tabitha Kirk sat there in Spock's quarters in front of the Comm. unit. On the screen was the entire admiralty though the sound was turned off so they could discuss what she'd told them. Part of Jim wished she'd listened to Scotty when he offered to drag out repairing long range communications. But they needed them up and working – in case something happened. Plus, the admiralty needed to know what had happened.

Still, her nerves were tense, her heart pounding in her chest. She'd told them everything – minus the fact of the other Spock's existence. She'd given them the facts, gave them the blatant truth. Now she was waiting for them to make a decision.

From the looks a few threw her way she knew they would throw the book at her. She would be out faster than she could say Enterprise and maybe even get jail time for what she'd done.

Saving the earth wouldn't get her out of anything. She knew that. Gaila and Pike both said it would – it'd help but she didn't believe it. Not with her luck.

Whatever her next internal thought would have been it was broken by Komack's voice which was a rude awakening at that.

"And everything you've said is true?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"Yes Sir," she told him, vocally knowing a head nod wouldn't be sufficient.

"Well, then you are to remain command as Acting Captain until you return to earth. Commander Spock is to continue being your second. If, by some miracle, Pike is able to recover it will be his decision who should be his second," one of the female admirals – a former science officer if she remembered correctly – told him.

"On a side note… have you and Commander Spock worked through your marital issues?" another admiral asked. Another woman though she'd been a Pilot.

"For the most part," She admitted, trying to conceal the blush that spread across her face. The woman raised a brow.

"I see… well, make sure you do… also, we thank you for the lists you ordered your communications officer post. It has helped alleviate congestion here," that woman said. "Though, the families of the survivors are trying to communicate with them… your children leading the pack I might add."

"Yes, they've been here pushing since that drill fell demanding answers," Barnett said sounding very annoyed though there was the corner of his lips turning up.

"I apologize for them. They… didn't take to rules and boundaries," she told them and they all shared a look.

"Like mother, like children," they told her and she blushed again.

"Yes sir," she told him.

"Make sure you speak with them soon… and bring back that ship in one piece. We don't have many left," Komack told her gruffly and she nodded.

"Aye sir," she told him. Then they signed off and she turned off her end before standing up. She couldn't help the little ridiculous happy dance she did right then. Of course she was caught by Spock walking in. He stopped a moment, raising a brow.

She didn't think before bouncing over and kissing him. He seemed confused but she pulled away.

"I'm retaining command," she said happily, her smile beaming and the corner of his mouth turned up. "I was so sure you'd be ordered to throw me in the Brig but, nope, I'm retaining command. I'm pretty sure I won't get arrested or court marshaled anymore when we get back to earth. Hell, maybe they'll let me graduate with my year…"

"Why would they not?" he questioned and she gave him a look that questioned where his mind had gone.

"I cheated on the Kobyashi Maru, I incited mutiny, I was subversive toward a senior officer, I snuck back on board after being snuck on the first time, shall I continue," she asked and he shook his head.

"I can see why you would be worried. But you also saved the earth and risked your own life to retrieve the rightful Captain which nearly got you killed," he stated. Something was wrong. He hesitated – enough anyone would have seen. She pushed open the bond which was still blocked and slid into his mind.

It was warm, familiar, and full of life. A memory was so close to the surface that it shocked her.

"_I hope Ayel is having fun with your wife right now," Spock heard Nero say and he felt both fear and anger well up in him. "He is the one with her I do believe and she is so… exotic. Hope he doesn't break her too much." The man was taunting him but it was working. Then the screen went black._

She walked forward. She felt guilt, anger, and fear. He had not been able to protect her. She'd been in a position where she could have been violated and hurt, and his mind was going through the what-could-have-beens.

"Nothing happened," she told him as she touched his cheek. "I'm safe. I'm here. Nothing happened."

"It could have," he whispered, sounding guilty which he felt.

"But it didn't. And it won't," she told him before kissing him again, softer this time. He returned it. Slowly the kiss built to something more passionate. Then he was picking her up her legs wrapping around his waist. They didn't pull away before he carried her into the bed room, where he laid her down, hovering over her. Their tongues fought for dominance as she moved her hands toward his belt, moving to unfasten them.

"We should stop," he said as he pulled away. "Until Dr. McCoy states you are no longer in danger of injuring yourself."

"Then we may be waiting a while since he thinks I'm always on the verge of something reckless and life threatening," she teased and he raised a brow. "I'm still an adrenaline Junkie… just had to be more careful because of the twins… plus, I'm pretty sure I have a few orders to give at the moment." Then she rolled out from under him and he let her go.

"Orders?" he asked.

"Yeah, since the list was posted a few hours ago the families of the survivors have been trying to communicate with us. I'm going to set aside a few Comms. for the crew to speak with their families while ensuring a few remain free for messages from Starfleet," she told him. He nodded his head. "You'll be able to speak with the twins…" He perked up, visibly.

"I would… appreciate that," he told her. She kissed his cheek before walking away. But she wished she could just get laid already. She loved that he worried – but it had been five years without a good lay. She needed sex.

_~Slow Way Home~_

"Daddy," McCoy heard Joanna say over the screen and he smiled while looking at his little girl. She was smiling. Her brown eyes were happy as she bounced in her seat. "I miss you, when are you coming home?"

"Not for a while baby… are you being good?" he asked.

"Uh-huh, I spend all day with Joey, Mandy, and Providence," she said. "Joey has been helping me with my Vulcan. Some of the people from the Consulate said I have almost no accent… is that good?" his daughter rambled and he smiled, glad she was having fun.

"That's very good," he informed her. "Has your mom tried to contact you?" he hoped she hadn't. Right before they left the orders had come through the court – the day before actually – that he had full custody of his daughter. His ex-wife and her husband were going to prison for fraud and money laundering, as well as child neglect.

"Nope," she said. "When are you and Miss Gaila coming home?" his daughter asked again.

"It'll be a while, but I'm sure Jory will help entertain you… and maybe you can do me some more drawings… you know I love those," he told her. She frowned.

"Dad, drawings are for babies. I'm seven," she told him and he could only imagine what she'd be like as a teenager.

"I know… I still love your drawings," he told her. She beamed.

"Alright – but only because you like them," she said and he couldn't help but feel proud that he'd managed to get a brilliant daughter. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too," he told her.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Vera was sitting in her room, crying. The person she was bunking with was on shift so she had the room to herself. She could grieve alone.

She knew once she got back to earth she couldn't grieve, not fully, not when Providence would need her strength, need to be able to rely on her. She wanted to help her daughter but right then she was grieving. It had just come in that her husband had been aboard The Feragut as a senior officer. He was dead, killed in the destruction of the ship.

Now it was just her, raising her daughter alone. Her husband – the chief engineer of the Feragut – had been killed so she was alone.

So many were dead. So many had been killed senselessly. A crazy romulan. She sat there, crying. She had to get it together before she talked to her daughter. Providence needed her mother strong.

_[Another Chapter down… plenty more to go… I hope you like it… I know it's slightly sad but… a lot of people died and the movie glossed over all of the cadets that died… so I'm trying to show how many truly were killed… anyways, thank you to everyone who has favorited, subscribed, and or reviewed. A special thanks goes out to_ Fire Dolphin, MirrorFlower and DarkWind, BetahimeTsukiko, RubyHair, Yana5, Abandoned123, Fernsfairie, CHANCEGAMBIT, beauty0102, jharr93, medafo, _and _Kassandra J_ for your reviews… also, a side note. A few mentioned my spelling and grammar was off and I would like to apologize. My cousins, who normally proofread my work, are out of state doing this whole – summer trip across the country thing with their friends so I am having to do all the correcting myself… so I apologize for any mistakes… anyways, thanks again…]_


	9. 8

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 8

_[Day 14 of 45]_

Jim felt Spock's nerves through the bond as they prepared to speak with the twins. He hadn't met them yet and she knew he was anxious about how they would react to meeting him. They'd never had a father. Sure, there had been male role models – Bones, Pike, Rotek. But never a father. Pike was like a doting grandfather to the pair. Bones was both the eternally annoyed yet helpful uncle. Rotek was a teacher. She didn't count Pavel because he was just a boy himself and more like a either young uncle or big brother.

But Spock was nervous. He _was_ their father – a father who had no idea what he was in for with the twins.

"Spock, everything will be fine," she told her husband who looked at her warily while she moved to stand behind him, rubbing his arms comfortingly.

"Fine is not…" he began and she rolled her eyes wondering if he needed a new phrase because that would get real old, real fast.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Spock, they are just kids – brilliant children. They will love you," She told her husband who nodded gently. She placed a kiss on his neck before moving to his side, then dialing the number the twins were staying at. Their teacher was standing there looking frazzled.

"Providence, Mandy, Joanna – stop beating up that older boy," the teacher called.

"But he was teasing…" Mandy's voice said, ringing like a bell.

"I don't care. Sorry about… oh, Hi Jim," the woman said and Jim smiled as she felt Spock tense. "Oh, this must be… _him._" She nodded. Then the woman turned. "Mandy, George, your mom and dad are on the Comm for you." Through the bond she felt Spock's heart skip a beat at being referred to as 'Dad'. _'It will be alright.'_ She told him through the bond before a happy Mandy bounced before the screen.

"Daddy? Mommy, when are you coming home?" Mandy bounced as she asked. Her long hair was in two messy pigtails she'd probably attempted to do herself. If Jim couldn't do her hair – or Gaila – then she refused to let anybody do her hair.

"How much sugar have you had?" Jim asked, avoiding the question.

"One of the women at the school brought in four types of ice creams for the students. She had three chocolate scoops before the end of the school day," Jory said, appearing, his hair as perfect as always, not a piece out of place. Her little perfectionist. Spock tensed at the word chocolate. "I had vanilla as the others all had some chocolate in it." He looked down, and she saw a shiver. His hands also flinched.

"I take it you two do not have the same reaction to chocolate that I and other Vulcans have?" he asked.

"Mandy does not… but I do," Jory said, a light green tint on his cheeks and ears. His hands rubbed together like he did when he was feeling guilty.

"Jory… that was an accident. I shouldn't have left my ice cream out," Jim said automatically and Spock tensed.

"Mother… I injured you that…" he began and she shook her head.

"Jory… you can't feel guilty forever over something that wasn't permanent. And if I remember you were sick all the next day, so it was no big deal," she said softly and he looked down. His eyes wanted to cry but he wouldn't let them.

"His emotions have been closer to the surface the last few weeks since the attack on earth," Mandy said and Jim nodded her head.

"Okay," Jim told her babies.

"Dad?" Mandy began and Jim looked to see Spock.

"Yes, Amanda," Spock responded.

"You hurt mommy again, I never speaking to you," Mandy warned in the meanest tone a four-year-old could muster. Spock seemed confused. "Mommy used to be sad… but she look happy…"

"I promise I will never intentionally inflict pain on your mother or the two of you – be it physical or emotional," Spock said and Mandy nodded. The conversation turned to school, friends, Jory blushing when Joanna came over, needing a translation which Jory gave her.

It was soon time for them to hang up and they said goodbye. Once the screen was black Jim leaned against Spock who wrapped his arms around her. She smelt the scent she knew as Spock. Things weren't perfect but it felt better – right.

"They are… spirited," he said and she chuckled.

"Mandy especially. Though Jory has his moments… especially when Joanna is involved. Like you with me," She said, running her fingers along his hands. She knew he was distracted – his mind noticing her touches while trying to concentrate on their conversation. "I'm pretty sure Jory and Joanna McCoy experienced _Shan'hal'lak_ when they met each other." He tensed.

"I know… Dr. McCoy mentioned something about them being close… but are you sure?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. Those two are inseparable," she said before shifting. His fingers laced in hers and he raised her hand so he could press a kiss into it the human way.

"I Believe that it would be the best course of action if we got some rest before our shift starts," Spock said, though she could his arousal and she turned to kiss him, moving to straddle him. "I must insist. You have not been cleared medically…"

"Spoil sport," she muttered, really wanting to have sex. Instead, they went and laid down and she quickly fell to sleep.


	10. 9

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 9

_[Day 15 of 45]_

**Providence sat in the girl's room at the 'boarding house' where the children of Starfleet's reservists were housed while their parents were offworld. Most were able to go to other family but none of them had family. **

**The girls room had five children, the boy's had two at that moment. Providence Ellen had been the daughter of Doctor Vera Ellen and Chief Engineer Taylor Ellen. Her mother was Orion, her father was human. And he was gone. Her idol – her best friend – the man who taught her all about working on engines. **

**Her parents met while her mother was in medical school and her father was a cadet at Starfleet Academy. He convinced her mom to join Starfleet and she had though up until that point her mother had never been in space. She worked at the Base hospital and was a reservist – a senior medical officer for emergencies only. **

**Her dark blue eyes – a mix of her mom's almost black eyes and her dad's light blue – were wet with tears as she thought of her daddy. He was gone. He'd never come back. Biting her lip she didn't want to cry. **

**However, that's when she felt the blanket move. Turning she saw Joanna McCoy getting in on one side, pulling her into a hug. Amanda Kirk crawled on the other side, hugging her so she was squeezed between them. They were her best friends. She was the middle child – one year younger than Joanna and two older than Mandy. But right then, she was glad to have such close friends. She cried as they held her, wishing she could think of something else. **

**They were three awkward girls – three outcasts. The one who could fit would be Joanna but her father was Dr. Leonard McCoy, a well known and very talented doctor but known to also be somewhat unlikable. Mandy was both part Vulcan so the xenophobes would hate her for that, but she also had Jim Kirk for a mother. Jim Kirk was both brilliant and rebellious at the same time. Then Providence – an Orion. Did she honestly have to say more? Age six she already understood the stereotypes people associated with Orions. **

"**You are our friend… that's what matters," Mandy whispered. "Nobody else's opinion matters." **

**Nodding Providence closed her eyes, feeling safe with her friends. If only they had the brains with them… then everything would be safe. **

_[I apologize for my long break between updates. I can't believe how long its been. I promise I'm not stopping and I hope the bulk of updates I have helps make up for my lack of updates. Any and all reviews are appreciated. Any comments, concerns, or complaints are appreciated. _

_I would also like to thank _2La-z 2 log in, Mini Alice Nelson, T'Mu-Yor, LadyBritish, amnela, Haily, Sofia Ann, Sladewitch, Greeneyedzengirl (3xs), beauty0102, RubyHair (2xs), medafo, guest, BetahimeTsukiko, Fernsfairie (2xs), Anime Princess, blueoctober, Yana5, MirrorFlower and DarkWind (2xs), and tweets _for your reviews. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. Thanks again…]_


	11. 10

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 10

_[Day 17 of 45]_

"You are nothing but a whore who shouldn't be allowed into Starfleet," Jim heard Cupcake who yelled down the hall and she froze. She took a deep breath, counting to ten. Spock was there and she could feel his anger at the insinuation. There were Vulcans all around and she had a feeling they did not appreciate the outburst.

The only reason she'd spoke to the man was somebody reported in that he and another member of Starfleet disappeared for over twenty-minutes, while he was meant to be on shift. The woman he went with was definitely not his wife who was a civilian back on earth. But that part hadn't been her business. What was her business was leaving his post while on shift for sex.

She turned and walked toward him. Her head was high and she moved to stand right in front of him.

"Due to the extenuating circumstances I _was_ letting you off with a warning. Now I am writing you up for abandoning your post… I will also be making a note that you both made a spectacle of yourself and your commanding officer which you disrespected in front of Guests," she told him, her voice holding no anger. She sounded calm, in control when in reality all she wanted to do was reach out and slap him across the face, kick him in the balls, or punch him in the nose… maybe all three. "I will let somebody else – maybe the Admiralty – be the ones to inform your wife of your infidelity since your wife is the civilian granddaughter of Admiral Archer." He paled. "Now… return to your shift… Lieutenant."

She went to walk away when she heard him double up his fists and pull his hand back. Material ruffled and her instincts were set to fight as it were. She moved quickly, blocking the strike before giving him a jab in the abdomen then knocking him down to his knees.

That's when a few other security officers approached. Spock walked toward her and pulled her back.

"Lock him in the Brig," Spock ordered and they nodded. Then she looked at Spock who was angry though far more in control than she'd believed he would be. The Vulcans nodded in respect while T'Pau walked over.

The woman seemed impressed and led Kirk back to Spock's quarters while he told her he'd go write up the report. She would write hers when she had time.

"I am sorry you had to witness that," she told Lady T'Pau when they arrived at the quarters.

"There is no need to apologize. Even on Vulcan men often react… harshly and without logic to women in control. That man, while less controlled and far stupider than most, is no exception," T'Pau told her. Jim blushed.

"I don't mean any disrespect but… you're different than I expected you to be," she told the woman.

"Yes, well. Most of my peers call me… forward in my beliefs. I believe that we have alienated ourselves for far too long, especially since we consider ourselves civilized and logical," T'Pau stated. "It is why I am… proud to have a grandson who is half-human and you as family… and grandchildren who, by their records, surpass even what is expected amongst their Vulcan peers. Brilliant with a better understanding of their emotions than any of us."

"They are smart," she admitted and the woman cut off Jim.

"Not just smart. Even by our standards the twins are registering at the level of children eight and fifteen years of age. They are beyond brilliant. They are prodigies. As was their father, and you," T'Pau stated, with a conviction Jim had never heard from a Vulcan other than Spock.

"I hadn't realized," Jim muttered. How were they so smart? She hadn't done anything different. "But… I don't understand how they could be so smart that they surpass what is expected amongst your people since you have some of the hardest grading systems in the galaxy." A smile seemed to flicker across the woman's lips before it was gone.

"We may never know. It may have to do with their psychic abilities and the fact humans – while most incapable of anything remotely psychic some are capable of feats beyond the ordinary. It may also be the combined Intelligences of you and Spock. It may also be the way in which they were raised. A combination of all these factors could contribute to their intelligences," Lady T'Pau said. Jim nodded. "Has my son bothered speaking to you?"

"No… Ambassador Sarek has not yet spoke to me about anything. Is something wrong?" Jim asked and the woman shook her head.

"My son is just being… I believe the word is stubborn. He should speak to you, as you are family, but he has not," she said and Jim shrugged at her.

"He didn't approve of me when we were teens. He found me too emotional and rebellious. I'm sure that hasn't changed," Jim told the older woman who almost seemed to sympathize with her. "It doesn't matter, either way. "

The woman nodded her head at the younger woman who didn't care. Sarek was just one person. Sure, he was her father-in-law but going into the marriage she'd known he wouldn't approve. He hadn't approved of her antics as a person… why would that change.

So, after a long conversation with the matriarch T'Pau went back to help with the other Vulcans and Jim sighed before writing up her reports on the incident. No sooner had both hers and Spock's been sent was she getting a comm.. She knew it had to be from Archer. That was not going to be fun to explain.


	12. 11

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 11

_[Day 18 of 45]  
-Warning: Not meant for anyone under the age of 18, or those who do not like Mature content… or an attempt at it since I'm not sure if I'm capable of it-_

Jim was tired as she walked into her quarters. Dealing with infidelity by one of her subordinates, a small fire in one of the bays, and two lieutenants getting into a fist fight the day before left her tired, and needing to relieve stress somehow.

Part of her wanted to collapse in bed, forget her problems and the day that wouldn't end. The other wanted to relieve the stress she was feeling right then. If it was earth she could go for a run, or she could go to the gym and spar, but another option hung just outside of her purview.

As if sensing her frustration, Spock appeared in the doorway, stripping off his shirt and grabbing for another.

Needing stress relief she stood up and walked toward him. He was distracted by his search for a shirt that he didn't notice her strip out of her shirt, or her shorts and underwear. Every movement had his muscles flexing. Her husband was well built. He always had been but it seemed age had only made him better.

She walked up to him and ran a hand down his back. He'd finally found a shirt and turned to look at her. Jim noted the shirt slipped from his grip and shock flitted through their bond. Shock and lust.

Moving to her toes she pressed a kiss into his lips while she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her bare body ran across his cooler chest. She always forgot that Vulcans ran just slightly lower than humans… despite the ignorant who swore they had to be hotter. They were from a Dessert world after all. But his cool skin felt good to her.

His tongue slid against hers as his arms moved to wrap at her waist, pulling her flush against his body. Their mouths fought for dominance as she stepped back, pulling him with her arms. They walked backward toward the bed until her knees struck the edge. Then he lowered her, hovering, the fingers of his left hand sliding over her skin barely touching her.

There was electricity in those touches, and she moved her mouth, moving it down his neck while moving him so that she wasn't beneath him. They were fully on the bed and she straddled him. She removed his pants and saw his cock straining and erect. He was already hard for her – just as turned on as she was.

Sliding her hand along his chest he groaned, but he watched her. His brown eyes knew her, saw as she moved until she was aligned with him.

Neither needed anymore foreplay. They were ready. So she impaled himself on her cock and a guttural moan escaped his lips… and hers if she was truly honest. He actually sat up, changing the angle but plunging him deeper within her. She groaned again.

Then they set a bruising rhythm, neither in control. They let their bodies take over, their rational minds disappearing. There was kissing, heaving breathing/panting, a lot of fighting for dominance as he'd flip her without breaking connection then her flipping him back.

They both came multiple times that night. When all was said and done she laid there with her head on his chest, feeling sated and relaxed.

"I've missed this," she told him and his hand brushed across her temple, brushing a strand of hair from in front of her face. "Missed you." Then she looked up at him. He leaned down, kissing her chastely.

"I am here and do not plan to leave you again," he informed her. She just smiled. Her eyes closing. She was lulled to sleep by the steady beat of his heart.


	13. 12

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 12

_[Day 20 of 45]_

Spock had just arrived at his quarters and found his father standing outside his door, waiting for him. If he was human he would have groaned because he honestly didn't want to have to 'deal' with his father. He knew that was his wife's influence but if he could he'd avoid him completely.

His father had been nothing but rude to Spock's wife, his love. It… frustrated him. Even in his mind he knew his admission of emotion would have shocked the other Vulcans but he couldn't bring himself to mind anymore.

"Father," Spock said as he got to the door, opening the door. His father followed him into the room.

"_We must speak," _his father said in Vulcan while looking around.

"We must," Spock said in Vulcan. "If you are worried my wife will overhear she is working in engineering. And speaking Vulcan would not hinder her as she speaks the language fluently." His father seemed frustrated by that admission. "Now, what do you want to discuss?"

"I wish to know why a Vulcan doctor commed me about your wife some years ago," his father said.

Spock hadn't been looking at his father but he tensed, as if struck. S'Nau had tried to contact his father? When had this happened and why hadn't his father informed him of this.

"You were contacted?" Spock asked, trying to keep control of his emotions which wanted to yell.

"Yes, he contacted me but I was busy and she was not my responsibility," his father said. His tone told him that it wasn't his but it _was_ Spock's responsibility

"She was pregnant," Spock told his father bluntly, watching his face. His father's control slipped and shock showed on his face. "I was to become a father and the consulate would not allow her to inform me. Healer S'Nau contacted you so that you could inform me that my bondmate needed me but _you_ didn't feel it was your responsibility so I have never met my children."

"Children?" his father asked. The look on his face was confusion, a touch of joy, and frustration.

"Twins, George Sarek Kirk and Amanda Winona Kirk," he told his father. His father looked at him stunned. Then the emotions disappeared leaving his normally impassive father in his wake. "Why did you always disapprove of her?"

"You were so young," his father said and he frowned confused. "I know we had you bound young but we always knew it would be broken for you never should a strong connection. The fact you blocked that bond most of your life and never sought her company was enough proof of that. But the woman you chose… she was nothing but a wild… child. She brought nothing but chaos whether it was her history on Earth or her time on Vulcan, flouting our culture."

"We were children, and yes, we were young. But you know the other doctors said it was us being so young that brought on… my fever," he said awkwardly and his father glared. "She was my _T'Hy'la _in more than just words. Even now, I feel her pull. I can sense her across the ship, feel her emotions and hear her thoughts if I remove my shields and she does the same." His father frowned. "Her mind is like no other humans. She has a control over her mind that rivals a Vulcan. She has thick shield and can send me her thoughts with ease."

"She should not…" his father began and Spock shook his head in frustration. He didn't care that his father appeared to disapprove.

"But she always has… it may have been because of her past, or some prenatal factor but she can. You may not approve but she is my bondmate and that will not change," Spock told his father, keeping his voice level. "Now, if you would please leave, I have paperwork to complete, and I believe mother was right when she used to say that walking away was the best thing."

With that he turned from his father and walked to the desk, not turning to see his father's reaction. He heard a sigh but didn't turn to look.

"Your mother always did walk away when frustrated," his father muttered though it sounded as if it was more for himself than for Spock. Then he heard the door open and close. Turning he found himself in the room.

Knowing he was alone he sagged in his seat.

Spock had missed so much time with his children and he always assumed it was his own fault… and it mostly was. Now he knew it was also because his father did not approve. Pinching the bridge of his nose he wondered what his mother would say but he wouldn't be the one to tell her.

_Slow Way Home_

Jim entered the quarters to find the room was Tense as Spock sat at the desk. But if she didn't know any better it didn't look like he was actually reading. It looked like he was lost in thought so she walked over to him and sent curiosity through the bond.

He jumped as she touched his shoulder, turning to look at her.

"I did not hear you enter," Spock told her and she smiled at him sadly.

"What happened, you looked far away," she asked while touching his forehead before moving to his lap, half sitting half straddling.

His response wasn't verbal but she got a bunch of flashes – images of a discussion he had with his dad through the bond which she opened. After sorting through what she saw she shrugged.

"Guess that means he doesn't approve, and his disapproval went all the way back to the academy. Does it really bother you?" she asked and he didn't respond but could see it did. "Spock, your dad is his own man. He'll have to accept us some time – even if its only so he can see the twins. Please, don't let him and his closed minded ways get to you." She kissed his cheek and he pulled her close.

She could feel his pain but also his contentment through the bond and she held him. She hid her thoughts that she was going to tell Amanda and maybe T'Pau about this current revelation.

Those two would make sure his ass was reamed out for it…


	14. 13

Long Way Home  
Chapter 13

_[Day 21 of 45]_

Jim hurried through the hallways. She tried to keep up the appearance of calm but her heart was pounding what felt like a thousand beats per minute and was trying to come out her chest while she was all nervousness.

Moving through the hallway she found herself right outside the infirmary which she stepped in, trying to avoid Bones. He'd been up in arms about her calorie intake again stating she was working too hard. Losing a single pound for everyone else wouldn't seem that big of a deal. But when Bones spoke of her losing weight he made it seem like she was dying of something right out nasty.

Glancing around with her blue eyes she immediately saw the person she was looking for. Danni. She was awake. Jim Kirk walked over to her, noticing the bulge of her stomach, her pregnancy even more pronounced, now that she seemed to be wasting away.

Her feet led her across that room with barely a conscious thought. She saw how thin her already skinny friend had become. Her glowing skin now looked already dead. Her eyes were glassy but she smiled as Jim neared. There was pain written all across those features.

"Hi, Danni," Jim said as she moved to sit next to one of her closest of friends. There weren't many she considered a friend but Danni was high among them.

"Jim," Danni whispered.

"How are you feeling?" Jim asked and Danni gave her a look.

"Like I'm dying," Danni said and Jim went to tell her she wasn't but Danni stopped her. "I know I'm dying so don't sugar coat it. The only thing that's keeping me alive is… the baby." Danni's hand went to her stomach and Jim swallowed. "But I don't think it'll be enough. I know… I'm not strong enough to go on… after she's born."

"Danni," Jim said sadly, not wanting to hear her friend talk like that. It reminded her of the way she'd spoken to older Spock, admitting she couldn't survive if his younger self died. She would have died along with him.

"Don't. It hurts to breathe. I'm trying to be strong for the baby… but that bond is still so weak," Danni muttered, eyes fluttering. "The best thing I can do… is find her a good family." Jim's eyes widened as she realized what her friend wanted. "I've named you… and Spock, her parents."

"But…" she began and Danni shook her head.

"You have no idea how strong you are. You have raised two great kids on your own. It will be easier with her… I know it will," Danni said and Jim nodded while in tears. She didn't want to lose her friend. She was the only person she knew who understood the difficulties of Vulcan marriage. "Just don't waste what time you have."

"I won't…" Jim promised her friend who had already passed out from exhaustion. Jim wiped her eyes before standing up.


	15. 14

Long Way Home  
Chapter 14

_[Day 22 of 45]_

Bones hadn't had a good shift off in twenty-two days. By that he meant he and Gaila hadn't had the same shift off. They really needed some bonding time. It had been difficult.

So as he moved into his quarters – which he shared with Gaila who had moved out of her own for a Vulcan Couple. She was sitting on the bed, her top missing. He moved up behind her as she pushed those gorgeous red locks up higher on her head. He crawled on the bed and pressed his lips against his necks.

"Good morning to you too," she told him with a mutter before turning to face him.

"How did you know it was me?" he murmured.

"I always know when it's you," she told him before rolling them so she was on top. "And I've really missed you." Before he could respond her lips pressed into his.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Pavel was sitting in his quarters as one of the cadets he was sharing with left for his shift, another sleeping. His eyes stared up at the ceiling, unseeing.

In front of him he saw his Jenna. Black hair, dark eyes, light lilt in her voice when she spoke from summers spent in Japan with her parents visiting distant relatives. She'd been his all. Everything he loved. And he lost her. While on duty he couldn't show his pain, his grief. It would be a while before he had himself together.

He knew that. But for now he could grieve in silence. And if he had to… he knew Jim would let him cry on her shoulder.


	16. 15

Long Way Home  
Chapter 15

_[Day 23 of 45]_

It was late as the Comm. went off. Jim sighed, standing up.

"Kirk here," she said into it.

"We have a long distance Comm. coming through for you, marked personal," A voice said. "Would you like us to transfer it to the commanders quarters?"

"Yes, thank you," she told the Lieutenant. Then she moved to sit in front of the screen. Her hair was a mess, she had bags under her eyes, but it was early. She'd been in bed. They would have to deal – she was too tired to deal with this.

The screen came to life and she saw a woman there – the twins teacher.

"I'm sorry Jim. Amanda is restless and keeping the other girls awake. I couldn't think of whatelse to do. I got permission from the Admiralty to contact you for this," the teacher said.

"Where is she?" Jim asked and little Mandy bounced on a bed in a room as the portable screen was moved to the room. There was a total of five girls in that room. Providence and Joanna were on the bed with Mandy, giggling. Two other girls were there and they didn't look happy with them but didn't appear to want to say anything.

"Mommy," Mandy squeaked as she saw the screen.

"Hi Jim," Joanna said with a little wave.

"Evening," Providence said politely.

"Why aren't you three asleep?" Jim asked, in mother mode.

"Not tired…" Mandy said and the other two heads bobbed in agreement. She wanted to groan at those three. Where Mandy went they followed. Without the brain they were all doomed. There was Mandy the leader, Joanna the Voice, Providence the bronze, but Jory was the rational one, the thinker.

"Crawl into bed you three… I'll sing you a lullaby," Jim said though she knew she'd regret it. Mandy beamed and she watched them crawl into bed. As she did she remembered one of Mandy's favorite songs. She no longer needed music to know the tune and the words.

"I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time, know there was something that, and something that I left behind," She sang, her voice was powerful but soft and she knew it. This was a talent she'd learned she'd had only after the twins were born. Before them she'd never been motivated to try and sing.

She had a view of all three girls and saw Mandy's eyes droop while Providence yawned. Joanna snuggled into her bed with a teddy bear.

"When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets, leave something to remember so they won't forget I was here. I lived, I loved. I was here. I did, I've done, everything that I wanted and It was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here,_" _she sang. Mandy was the only one still fighting. She was always the one who resisted sleep as long as she could. She waited a five count before she began to sing again. "I want to say I lived each day, until I die, and know that I meant something in somebody's life. The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave, that I made a difference and this world will see I was here, I lived, I loved. I was here. I did, I've done everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here." Everything felt right at that moment even as she knew the strong got stronger.

"Just want them to know that I gave my all, did my best. Brought someone to happiness, left this world a little better just because, I was here," she sang, her voice taking a deeper edge. "I was here! I was here, I lived, I loved. I was here. I did, I've done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know. I was here. I lived I loved. I was here. I did… I was here… I lived… I loved… I did… I've Done…" Then she softened her voice for that final line and saw Mandy was asleep. "I was here."

There was a pause as the screen was moved to the hallway and she heard the door closed. The teacher's face came into view of the screen then. "Thank you, Jim, all five girls are asleep now," the teacher said and Jim smiled at her.

"It's not a problem," Jim told her honestly. After saying goodbyes she turned to see her husband standing in the doorway.

"I do not recall you mentioning you had musical abilities," he told her and she shrugged at him.

"I didn't know back then. It wasn't until after I had the twins that I realized I could sing. But I only sing for them," she told him honestly. He shook his head at her.

"You are very talented," he told her and she felt a blush on her cheeks. His hand wrapped in hers before he lead her away back to their room. She laid down, arms around him and head on his chest. One of their hands intertwined and she felt comfortable. She fell back to sleep easily.


	17. 16

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 16

_[Day 24 of 45]_

"Relax Jim, you're more nervous about this surgery than I am," Captain Pike told Jim who turned to glare at him as she paced.

"Yeah, one of us has to be. You are being way to cavalier about this," she told him. He snorted.

"Hello, Pot, nice to meet you, I'm the Kettle," he said sarcastically and she was glad he was lucid. He was no longer on the good drugs like the last few times she'd stopped by. Right now she wished he was because he was being seriously annoying. Was this how her friends felt?

"Well, it's true. This is serious surgery they are doing," she told him.

"And, as you have reminded me repeatedly, Dr. McCoy and Dr. Ellen are the best I could be the patients of. He is the best surgeon I could have and she has a good bed side manner," Pike told her and she glared though it was true. Vera wasn't known for being the best surgeon. She was an all around practitioner. She specialized in family medicine and was there to learn emergency medicine.

"He'll be fine, you're wearing a hole," Bones said coming in.

"Yeah, but he's trying to be cavalier as me," she stated and Bones scoffed. Then she turned to the man she thought of as a father to her. Since joining the Federation he'd become a father figure, grandfather figure to her children, and important to her. "I will be waiting for you when you get out."

"Understood," Pike said and she then watched them wheel him away. Her nerves were going a million miles a minute.

After ten minutes she began pacing because she couldn't sit still. She had to move. Ten minutes later she sat back down. Then she stood up again and began pacing once more. However, as she was pacing she wasn't watching where she was going she accidently kicked over the Captain's Ready-Bag.

Several things slid.

"Crap," she muttered kneeling to gather them. She stopped as she heard something. A familiar female voice, a female laugh. Though she'd never heard that voice laugh.

"_Come on Chris, put the Holovid down," _the voice said. Moving to a Padd that was facing away from her under the edge of the table. _"George, make him turn that thing off." _

"_Not going to happen, sorry Winona, can't do that," _an unfamiliar man's voice said and she reached over hesitantly. Pulling it she saw a vid of her mom and dad.

"_Chris, I may be pregnant but I will kick your ass," _her mom threatened and there were two guys laughing. She didn't look that far along though there was a toddler in her arms meaning she was pregnant with Jim. That's when Pike's very young face came around.

"_She won't do it. George 'll have my back," _Pike said into the screen before turning the cam to her dad.

"_Sorry buddy, you're on your own. Wife trumps best friend," _her dad said and her mom smirked. The cam swung back to Pike.

"_So much for guy solidarity,"_ Pike said and Jim felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Those were her parents, parents she never saw like that. Her dad, her mom, and Pike, a man she trusted. Needing to know she paused the Vid and went to the main screen. She found a bunch of vids of him and her parents.

Then she found pictures of them. Holophotos that came out that showed they were very close. Graduation photos, her father getting stationed on the Kelvin.

She found communiqués between her mother and Pike which she couldn't help but read. He mentioned something about a promise he was going to keep though she refused 'charity'. She told him they didn't need him and to never contact her again.

It became clear her dad made contingencies and Pike was supposed to be there. It also became clear that Pike had tried.

There were reports from all of her schools, transcripts, award notices and photos. Payment orders he'd paid for trips she'd never known how they were paid. He'd been guiding her life the entire time and she didn't know about it.

Anger, pain, and betrayal flashed through her. How could he control her life like that? How dare he? She was her own person! She was!

She stood up and wiped her eyes, tossing the Padd on the chair. Then she walked out, catching a glimpse of them taking Pike back to his room as she left but she was too angry to stick around. They'd told her it would be thirty to forty minutes. That was about right.

On the way to her quarters she acted the captain they needed. Cordial, in control. But the moment she was in her room she slammed a fist into the wall.

Spock came out of the office they usually left unused.

"Jim?" Spock asked sounding concerned. She couldn't speak for anger, instead she began to pace. She needed to run, to fight, to something. She didn't know what but she needed something. He moved forward and she kissed him. "Is this what you need?" he asked, pulling away.

"I need to get my aggression out without hurting myself or someone else," she admitted, grinding her teeth as she did. He nodded then kissed her heard and she pulled him forward, thanking god she had such an understanding husband.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Pike woke up slowly. As he did it became abundantly clear that Jim was not there like she said she would. Checking the clock he saw she wasn't on her shift or getting ready.

Confused he glanced around, mind not fully functioning but knowing something had to have happened. Then he noticed something unusual was sitting on a chair nearby. A Padd. It took him a moment to understand the importance and the fact his bag was also tipped over.

That was his personal Padd. The one he kept the things about George, Winona, and Jim. Slowly the pieces worked themselves together and he swore.

She'd found out and knowing her she'd think he'd been manipulating her life.

He knew her. He laid back, tired and realizing he was screwed. He'd have to deal with that, with her knowing he had lied about how close he'd been to her parents before her birth.

_[I would like to apologize for the long delay between chapters. I was trying to write but had a huge block on this story, so I tried starting a new story but got a block on that too, but now I think this block is finally breaking apart and I'm able to write again so YAY! _

_Though I have a confession – because of the block I have no idea how many chapters I updated last time which means I have no idea how far to go back for my thanks. So my apologies if I missed you from the last time I thanked everyone. So I'd like to thank you all for sticking with me despite the block, for everyone who has read, favorited, and or subscribed. I would like to send a special thanks out to _T'Mu-Yor, Rndm Peep, zeynel, MirrorFlower and DarkWind, Jasperhaleslover, blueoctober, alaine1910, Yana5, BetahimeTsukiko, beauty0102, Fire Dolphin, seacat03, Slayerq2000, maddie, Colonelengle, Sophia Ann, Hina Ata, and Hikaru Uchida _for your reviews. And thank you to any that I missed. Until next time (which should be in a few days since I have another chapter half-way done).]_


	18. 17

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 17

_[Day 25 of 45]_

"Do you have any Christmas plans?" Gaila asked as she and Jim sat in Spock's quarters. Her quarters too but they were technically Spock's.

"How do I have Christmas plans when we are here?" Jim asked, being honest.

"Do like Bones and I did… we ordered ingredients to be delivered the twenty-third, as well as pre-wrapped presents so we'll have them Christmas Eve. Now we just have to hope we arrive on time," Gaila admitted.

"That's a lot of hope that may not happen," Jim told Gaila who stuck her tongue out. "I'm being serious. One thing could push us back a day or two. Two things… buh-bye Christmas." Jim sighed not liking that idea because she had never missed Christmas with the twins. As an only parent she'd always been there, always had to be but also because she didn't want them to spend them lonely like she did several years, Frank passed out on the couch while she wondered where her mother and Sam were. Having to figure out what you were going to eat because Frank only had alcohol left in the house.

"We will get back. You have to have faith in that," Gaila stated.

"What if we don't, I mean, I've never missed a holiday, ever and I don't know how to miss one now," she admitted. Gaila rolled from her stomach to her knees which had been in the air with her ankles crossed.

"You don't give up. I mean, aren't you the one always stating there's no such thing as a no-win situation," Gaila stated. Jim glared at Gaila from the little arm chair. "We will get there. You won't miss Christmas with your children."

That's when the door opened and their attention turned to Amanda and Spock entering the room.

"You need to make sure we get to Earth _before_ Christmas. I want to spend the holiday with my grandbabies, not stuck on this bucket of bolts," Amanda said and Jim felt insulted since it was her bucket of bolts.

"I do not see how this ship could be compared to a bucket filled with Bolts," Spock stated and Jim rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to let the slight against the ship go," Jim said, "Since I'm worried about the exact same thing."

"All of the parents are," Gaila said.

"You a mother?" Amanda asked and Gaila blushed.

"She's dating Bones who has a daughter. Though his daughter does act like she's more a mother, especially since her own is going to prison for child negligence," Jim admitted and Gaila lowered her face so her hair hid her.

"Ah, adopted child. You are still the mother whether by blood," Amanda said and Gaila sputtered, face turning up and eyes wide though Amanda had turned to face Spock so she didn't see that. Jim tried to hold back her laughter. She actually bit her lip to keep quiet. "You must get us back Spock. I know you don't want to miss this specific holiday any more than I do."

"Yes mother," Spock said and to anyone else the tone would see detached. To Jim he sounded both annoyed and placating. Her Urge to laugh was getting harder to control.

"Good boy," Amanda said before giving them a nod, then left. As soon as she was gone both Gaila and Jim burst out laughing breaking the dark mood that had settled earlier.


	19. 18

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 18

_[Day 26 of 45]_

Gaila was walking through the ship when she caught sight of the Acting Captain up ahead of her, talking to a young Lieutenant in Science Blue. Approaching hesitantly she saw her dismiss the young lieutenant who hurried toward Engineering.

"Captain," Gaila said as she approached and Jim turned, looking composed and all formal until she saw who it was.

"Oh, hi Gaila," Jim said relaxing. "He's good at space walking so he and two other are going to do their best to walk through Deck six and report damage and power leaks so that we can reroute the power manually since doing it automatically didn't help." Jim said and Gaila nodded. She was tech, Science. She knew that.

"Hey, Jim, I have a question," Gaila asked, her mind really going odd places that day and she didn't know why as they headed toward Jim's quarters.

"Shoot," Jim said, people stopping and standing respectfully before moving on. Gaila noticed Jim's eyes noticed each person that did that.

"Why is your name spelt J.A.M.I.E. I mean, the correct feminine spelling is J.A.I.M.E." Gaila told her friend who actually snorted.

"My mom's not the brightest. Dad said he wanted me named after her dad so that's what she did. Masculine nickname for the name James. Jamie. Hence a lot of teasing growing up," Jim told her and that answered a lot of questions. "Mom really is a dumb ass, then again, so were some other people that shall not be named."

"Who?" Gaila asked, feeling like she missed something as they entered the commander's quarters. Jim watched the door close.

"Pike is a dumbass, " Jim said and Gaila did a double take. Jim and Pike were close friends. He doted on Jim, spoiled her and the twins really. Jim looked up to him as a mentor and surrogate father figure. She looked to him for guidance and security. So what the hell happened?

"What did he do?" Gaila asked, moving to sit on the far end of the couch and Jim sat on the other end, knees pulled up underneath her.

"He lied about how well he knew my parents. He was their friend, not just an acquaintance. And he's been molding my life because of some promise to my dad," Jim said and Gaila stood there shocked. That did not sound like Pike.

"Okay, I get them being friends, and him watching out for you from afar. But molding your life?" Gaila asked.

"He has digital receipts for trips I took, which he paid for. Of my schooling transcripts, of clippings of awards I got," Jim said. As she listed the things she knew that Jim wasn't used to somebody older taking an interest. She had no idea how parents reacted, interacted with their children. She hadn't gotten to that stage. The twins were four – and while they were meant to be in daycare they were learning at advanced levels – Jory already in high school, low high school but high school, while she was in elementary to low junior school.

To Gaila it sounded like a dad keeping mementos of their child's accomplishments rather than anything more insidious. Since Pike never married and never had children, Gaila figured watching out for his friend's kid would be the closest he'd ever get to having one of his own. So he would be proud of her.

"Honey, you mentioned a Promise, what was it?" Gaila asked, scooting toward Jim who looked heartbroken. She squeezed her hand as Jim shrugged. "So maybe you should talk to him."

"Hell no," Jim said, pulling away so she could get up and pace. "I am not ready to face that man."

"You do realize, what you described is what a father would do for their child," Gaila said bluntly and Jim stopped pacing. Her back was to Gaila. "Keeping things because they are proud of their accomplishments. Paying for things that their kids want or need. Though the secret about your parents was a dick move."

"Agreed," Jim said. "Change of subject." With that Jim flopped, and Gaila could see that Jim just wasn't ready to deal with anything. So she decided to agree with what she said.

"So… what will you do anywhere from June to August?" Gaila asked, going to another hard subject. Jim looked at her confused. "When Danni gives birth?" Jim inhaled sharply.

"I don't know. If things aren't shit then I will have graduated and be posted on a ship by then, hopefully with my husband and kids. I don't know how I'll handle being on a ship somewhere while having a new baby," Jim admitted.

"Well, maybe they'll have this fixed and you can captain and have all of us," Gaila said with a squeak, arms extended wide and Jim laughed.

"Maybe, doubtful but maybe. I'm not looking forward to the day Danni gives birth," Jim admitted. "I mean… the idea of being a mom again is thrilling but losing Danni…"

"Yeah. You and she had similarities and bonded over being outsiders on your husband's world," Gaila said. Jim smiled. "Have you visited her?"

"Every other day to every third day. She's getting worse so there is no hope anymore that she'll pull through this. They aren't even sure if she'll last until delivery. They may have to operate eventually," Jim admitted.

"I've gone four times," Gaila admitted. "It's hard to see her. She and I… we weren't as close as you and I are or you and she are but… I liked her and… seeing her like that knowing it's because she lost her husband. Makes me worry about you."

Jim looked at her. "Why?"

"Because that could be you… if you lost Spock. I may hate how sad he used to make you but seeing that, makes me worry. And the fact Vulcans have been collapsing from losing their bondmates on the ship makes me worry for him too," Gaila admitted. "No more deep though. How are things going with you two?"

"Good, we've talked, got issues out of the way," Jim began and Gaila booed that.

"I meant have you finally gotten laid yet. You know Sex. Made the beast with two backs. Done the horizontal tango?" Gaila asked. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Spock walked into the room and as he entered, his ears went green but he walked by as if nothing was occurring. "So you have. Details, positions, and all the kinky details." Jim chuckled as Gaila watched Spock pick up his pace until he was in the office. Then the pair were laughing nonstop.

_[Sorry, I was planning to update when I got seventeen done but I was inspired and continued on to this chapter. Anyways, I would like to thank everyone who has stayed with me this far. And I would like to thank anyone who has favorited and/or followed this story. I would also like to give a special thanks to _MirrorFlower and DarkWind, TwilightNewMoonEclipseMidnight, Hikaru Uchida, animechick1998, seacat03, Hina Ata, beauty0102, CHANCEGAMBIT, Riskreader, _and _Elle _for your reviews.]_


	20. 19

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 19

_[Day 27 of 45]_

Montgomery Scott was working in the Engine Room, trying to keep their girl moving and working so a lot of people could get home when the Acting Captain entered. She would have just gotten off Alpha shift and rather than heading to her quarters he saw her walk in.

People stopped respectfully and she nodded, then glanced around, saw something that needed working on, and went to it.

She was good, that lass. She was smart and knew an engine well. In fact, it surprised him that she was on the tactical path at the Academy rather than Engineering.

He saw somebody struggling under the weight of a beam they needed to move so he instantly moved over to help them as did one of the Vulcans. They'd been flocking since the Captain gave the okay. Some were in medical, some in Engineering. Lady Amanda had been helping people figure out jobs that needed to be done.

When he first predicted forty-five days he'd been hesitant, not believing it could be done but not wanting to hurt people's already fragile morale by saying after Christmas if not at all. Now he thought they might make it in forty-days with the progress.

Between the Captain's near daily presence, the Vulcans, people switching off power leaks or fixing them in the open ports it wasn't inconceivable now that they would make it early.

Nodding at the Vulcan who helped lower the device they had it under control he turned back to his work.

_~Slow Way Home~_

As the screen went black T'Pau wished for a moment she was human. Then she'd have been able to tell the men from the consulate what she thought. But she had to control her emotions, repress the urge to call them sniveling cowards.

"I'm pretty sure if you were human you would be flipping off the view screen," her daughter-in-law told her and T'Pau turned to view Lady Amanda Grayson.

"That would not get the work done any faster," T'Pau told her.

"But it would feel good," Amanda said and T'Pau had to resist the urge to smile. She knew the other heads of the Council never approved of how 'emotional' she had always permitted herself to be. She had refused to strip herself of emotion, allowed herself to give into emotion while amongst family.

"More than likely," T'Pau admitted. She'd always been a rebel. She believed in logic and control, but there was also a place and time for emotion. That logic was not meant to be amongst family.

Though her early years she'd helped bring back the true teaching of Surak – her ancestor – she had never truly fully accepted that Logic was meant to be everywhere though she knew future generations would see her that way. She would either be some crazy Vulcan with Wild Ideas or an all logical woman who used it for everything.

"Your son is being an ass," Amanda said.

"I do not see how my son could be…" T'Pau began, mind not following for a moment.

"I mean he's being rude, and unbending in his thoughts and emotions towards Jim. I mean, you'd think with you as a mother, me as a wife, he could accept Tibby but nooo. He has to go and be unnecessarily rude to her," Amanda rambled.

"He takes after Skon," T'Pau stated. Theirs had not been a love match but an arranged marriage she had not rejected for she had no other prospects at the time and saw him as suitable. She had been pleased when her son made a love match – though she'd had to get over her mistrust of humans to accept Amanda. "Meaning his mind will not be easily swayed."

"So, what do we do," Amanda asked.

T'Pau didn't know but they would figure it out.


	21. 20

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 20

_[Day 28 of 45]_

It was late, she was tired. She'd been doing her shifts on the bridge, working at engineering when not on duty, running herself ragged really. She'd also spend an hour or so with her friends but beyond that she was always active.

Between that and the constant paperwork she was exhausted, swamped and exhausted. Invoices; Repair Requisitions, Disciplinary Citations to sign off on, information from the admirals.

She knew being a captain wouldn't be a piece of cake but now she realized how difficult it really was. She'd thought being a mom was hard but she'd realized the wins had been easy compared to that job. With the twins Jim knew what to expect. Then again, most people said her experience as a mother was abnormal so maybe for most being a parent was harder than being a Captain.

"You should discuss what has occurred between you and Captain Pike," Spock said as they got into the bed after stripping out of her clothing.

"Too tired," she muttered, leaning against his cooler chest. Her eyes fluttered while his arms wrapped around her.

"Then rest," he told her and she did.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Sarek did not understand why his wife had become distant both in their bond and in the physical world. She now refused spend more than ten minutes with him and those were minutes she could not avoid.

"You are avoiding me," Sarek told his wife.

"Yeah, and your being a dick. Let's leave it as that," Amanda said lying down on the bed.

"Amanda," he stated and she rolled to face him.

"Jim isn't leaving. She is a part of this family. Her children are a part of this family. And Spock loves all of them. So you need to get over whatever issues you have with her or else he's going to cut you out of their lives completely. And when they adopt Mrs. Marks' baby, which they will, you will not be a part of its life," Amanda said before turning her back towards him. "Don't try correcting my logic or I swear you will sleep in the hall tonight." She was right on him correcting her logic as he'd opened his mouth but snapped it shut.

He hated to admit, the idea of missing out on more of his grandchildren's lives left him… uncomfortable. Knowing so little about his son's life also left him with the same feeling.

So he went to sit on the floor at the end of the bed, preparing to meditate over what he was feeling.

_~Slow Way Home~_

Pavel was sitting on an empty observation deck, looking out at the stars. He missed Jenna right then but… it didn't feel right that so soon after losing her he had already cried all the tears he had. The pain was still there but there were no tears left to cry.

And the pain was easing slowly, ebbing away.

Sometimes it was back, but other times he found it eased and bearable.

"Sorry," a voice called and Pavel turned to see one of the men – the Pilot – was standing there. "I didn't know anybody would be up here."

"No Vorry," he said. He offered them the seat across the aisle and the man sat down. Sulu, the man was Hikaru Sulu if Pavel remembered correctly. "Just remembering."

"Who did you lose?" Sulu asked.

"Jenna. My girlfriend," Pavel stated. "You?"

"Carl, my roommate and a good friend. And… Demi, my older sister. Though not in the events. I just found out she had an undiagnosed aneurism. Even if this hadn't happened she still would have died," Sulu said, looking lost.

"Sorry," Pavel stated. Nothing else was said, instead they both looked out of the window, united in grief and Pavel felt better, knowing somebody else was thinking of all they lost.


	22. 21

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 21

_[Day 29 of 45]_

Jim had just gotten off her shift and decided to head down to Engineering. It wasn't a long journey, one she'd gotten very good at.

She could walk that path in her sleep, as she walked it nearly every day.

Entering Engineering she saw Scotty but he was busy arguing with somebody. So she went and found something that needed done. The work she was doing was monotonous. She didn't need to use her brain from the repetition and it was easy work.

Spending that shift down there she was able to think about her children who she missed greatly. She was thinking about her stupid father in law that she wanted to kick upside the head. And she was thinking of Christopher Pike, who was a total ass and should have never lied to her.

That's when the shift was ending and she prepared to leave, go and see where-else she was needed. But she heard a noise and turned.

Then she was thrown backwards as a nearby console exploded, causing three more explosions. Everything went dark for Jim…


	23. 22

Slow Way Home  
Chapter 22

_[Day 29 of 45]_

"Damn it, how many more?" McCoy asked as four more members of Engineering were brought in after an explosion. At least a dozen personnel had been already brought in, two with serious injuries while most had superficial wounds, or wounds that could be put off for the short term but not long term while helping those with serious injuries.

"Five," a voice called and he turned to see Kirk – that stupid kid – helping escort a Vulcan in. She had burns on her face and there was green blood on her outfit.

"Kirk," McCoy growled.

"He needs serious medical help," Kirk said while leading the Vulcan to a bed as another Vulcan helped her. He could see the Vulcan they were carrying was barely conscious and his instincts as a doctor kicked in. He rushed to the man and began scanning him.

The wound was near a major blood vessel and he was loosing the green fluid rather quickly. No wonder Kirk had it all over her.

Before he could tell Kirk to stay she was gone out the door and he swore.

"Ellen, contact the Commander, tell him to find his wife and return her to the Infirmary before I chase her down and sedate her into next week!" McCoy growled before taking the Vulcan into surgery. She was working on a minor dermal injury on a Denobulan Patient.

"Will do, McCoy," she called.

It was going to be a long day.

_[Thank you for reading and I just saw the new movie and I've got to say... I've been inspired to work on this story again. Hence the Chapter dump though these last two aren't quite as long as I would like. Anyways, thank you for reading and sticking with me this far despite my less than steady updates. Also, special thanks to everyone who has reviewed, they are much appreciated. Special thanks to _beauty0102 (_2xs)_, MirrorFlower and DarkWind (_2xs)_, T'Preea, Hunnybe13, Fire Dolphin, CHANCEGAMBIT, Hikaru Uchida, Yana5, animechick1998, _and_ Rndm Peep _for reviewing. Thanks to the new movie I have an idea for a story after this one between the events of Movie One and the new movie but I'm going to let you guys decide if I go with it... who would like to see Spock Prime's Children - Kiri, Asil, and Tibby - somehow either in flashbacks or actually there? Well, until next time... thank you again.]_


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